DOs and DON’Ts about Anger

DO:

• It is important to get into contact with yourself before you express anger;

Express your anger when it is produced, not when it becomes too much. Some people have the tendency to delay expressing anger, which can lead to collecting stamps to be redeemed for an outlash;

• It is important to put the emotion into words.

The expression of anger is a way of reestablishing boundaries/limits and, when verbalizing it in an assertive manner, it is useful to organize the message according to this structure: (a) give a fact-based description of the behavior which caused/triggered anger, (b) express the affected person’s perception of the described behavior and (c) offer a solution which can fulfill, in an OK- OK manner, the needs of the person expressing anger.

DON’T:

• Use violence when you express your anger;

• Talk about persons, but about behaviors.

Be gentle with the person and strict with the behavior.

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