Analytic Vision

Posts Tagged ‘respect’

Meta Time

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 13/11/2017

I invite you to read an article (the first one in a new series) which will show you how time management influences one’s personality: The Timeline.  This is a fundamental meta-feature which dominates somebody’s personality, although it can be different in different contexts. The article “In Time” is its continuation: the detailing of the first main perception.  This is the third article of the series, which details the “Meta Time” perception.

Meta Time (partial association with the Judgement function, defined by Jung; not to be mistaken for monochronism or polychronism within chronemics)

Also known as «Through Time», the Meta Time perception implies the fact that, as seen in space, it is somewhere on the outside, so that no segment of the line touches the body of the one visualizing it. The classical form implies two typical manifestations: either a half circle from left (past) to right (future) or a straight line ahead, having the present ahead.

Forms which you will encounter with clients may be: line ahead, in the back, on the ground, in front of one’s eyes. The line may be curved, criss-cross, in a spiral, anyhow, as long as it is outside the body. If it touches the body in any way, then it is a clearly an In Time case. However, I should mention that, if for certain segments (such as from the past, or from the present, or from the future), the timeline touches the body, there can be In Time features, or the perspective of that segment shall be a Meta Time approach, and this is something rather common in the past, in the case of traumas. If, on the contrary, the perspective is In Time, and in a certain segment (the past, especially) is ahead, Meta Time features shall be on an In Time perspective.

Time Line Therapy® founders are using the term through time, because when the client supposedly took a step, he would step “through” the line that illustrates time. However, H. Arne Maus, who has actually performed researches in the timeline field, as well as Ann Renew, an L. Michael Hall’s collaborator from South Africa (who classified timeline as a metaprogram in 2005, calling it “Time experience”), use the phrase Meta Time. Being closer to research, the author of this article prefers the second version.

The individual who will have a meta perception of time will have a high capacity to get detached from emotions. He will have the power to experiment any emotion, as an interesting experience; then, he will be able to go to the next one without a problem. Practically, the emotional register of a person in the Meta Time state can significantly be more diverse than the one of a person in In Time, and for this reason, professionally, they can be excellent … actors (!) or sales agents. They have the capacity to disassociate from a negative emotion, and the power to get over inner conflicts relatively easily. If doubled by empathy, this capacity can indicate an extremely good communicator. Unfortunately, such a perspective does not offer the possibility to «live in the moment». In this case, the motivation can be given by a clearly set agenda.

Meta Time has a strong impact on one’s work style, offering the conditioning to do several things simultaneously, in parallel, in several stages, without necessarily completing them. A person with a Meta Time perspective shall not feel good unless (s)he works on at least 3-4 things at the same time, has started working on another 5, and is planning on 6 more. And the interesting thing about it is that s(he) will most likely do them well, especially if they are allowed to organize themselves. If allowed to, they will create their system where the combinations of the things they do will help them save time. Their perception of those who have the In Time perception is that they walk «in straight tram-like manner», that they are “small-minded“, that they are superficial because they are not able to plan anything, and that they are wasting their time with worthless things, etc.

Meta Time is the only perspective from which planning can be achieved (and met!). The time management courses are prepared by those having the Meta Time perception for those with the Meta Time perception. Time is money, and it can be divided into days, days into hours, hours into minutes, in each of these minutes there is a planned activity, and they will show you that in their agenda it’s full of doodles. If they set their alarm for 7 a.m., and they wake up at 7.05, they will feel guilty, and in some serious cases, this risks causing a tragedy. They will show punctuality; moreover, they will arrive earlier than it was planned for meetings, and most likely, they will be intolerant with those who are not punctual in their turn, whom they will consider unreliable for this reason. They may express opinions such as «if you respect me, then you arrive on time! ». If something comes up, it is no problem, anything can be rescheduled. (unlike the In Time perspective, in which any replanning can be the source of a nightmare). Anything and anybody are replaceable, as long as the changes can be made in the agenda on time. They shall abandon the workplaces where they are not told, or cannot precisely and exactly establish what they will do from the moment they walk into the office until they leave it.

The Meta Time dominated persons are, par excellence, business people. There is no chance that a business freelancer could achieve something if s(he) does not have a Meta Time perspective. Very rarely shall one find In Time perspective people in leading positions, and usually they shall not stay there long. Any type of job that requires the ability to work with several timetables, the ability to plan and do several things at the same time requires a Meta Time perspective. It is, par excellence, the field of engineers, accountants, architects, movie directors.

Personally, the Meta Time perspective persons have the capacity to judge things «in the light of cold reason», thinking very rationally, objectively, as related to actual necessities. They shall rely on facts rather than emotions. They shall not have the preference to live in the moment, but they shall have the capacity to issue and meet certain standards, without living profound disappointments. In exaggerated cases, they will be able to even organize their wedding as a project (it is something that requires planning, right?), which shall have the following components: 1.1. proposal. 1.1.1. choosing the right place 1.1.2. finding the ring […] 1.2. talking to the parents 1.3 choosing the venue. And they shall rigorously comply with the planning. Or they shall have their partner comply with it, while they supervise the process.

Examples of people fitting this profile: Donald Trump, Steven Spielberg, Mugur Isărescu, Andy Szekely, Jean-Michel Jarre.

Jean-Michel Jarre – “Chronology part IV”

References:

Hall, Michael. L, Bodenhamer, Bobby G. (2005). Figuring Out People. Reading People using Meta-Programs, Crown House Publishing, Ltd, Bancyfelin, Carmarthen, Wales, UK, pp. 152-154; pp. 247-249;

Translation of the article ”Meta Time “ originally published in Romanian by Ștefan Alexandrescu at the 14th of August 2012 on Discerne. Translated by Cristiana Boicu, 2017. Originally written in 2007. Updated by Ștefan Alexandrescu at 21.10.2017

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In Which Mirror Do You Prefer to Look?

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 11/08/2017

The Mirror of the Bible

To look in the mirror in a spiritual way is to live according to the Holy Scripture. The true esssence of listening to fragments of the Holy Scripture during the holy liturgy is to carry those to others. There are two ways of doing that. The first is to tell your friends what you learned, what was taught at the Church. This is called “the liturgy after the liturgy”. The other, more powerful way of carrying to others the message is to live by it, practice what is being taught.

First, about talking to others. How do your friends plan their meeting with Christ? This is a simple yet powerful question. Indeed, how do they do that? If they weren’t present at the liturgy, how do they practice what was taught? What stops them, if anything? How can they get counsciousness, if they choose so, of the options and the benefits of meeting Christ in the Church or through their deeds, following on the footsteps that lay on their path to redemption? How many friends do you have that bring you to Christ?

I do not preach to only have Christian friends. There is something to be learned from each person. Openness can be welcomed, in my opinion, as long as it doesn’t require accepting the relativism of truth. Such relativism is the claim that all or most spiritual or religious beliefs are correct, or that there are even are more which are correct. Relativism is in itself a religious frame. Keeping each person’s beliefs is something which can be done with firmness and gentleness, while sometimes exploring how do they apply to a particular life situation. I don’t believe the Bible teaches what our attitude should be about modifying the weather or genetically modified organisms in the food. But discussing about such topics keeping the balance of discernement in mind helps us explore the roots of each idea. Therefore, talking to people with different, even opposite beliefs shouldn’t be so scary. If you really believe what you believe, then you believe it enough that you may allow yourself to doubt it, still keeping enough arguments to return to your spiritual center.

Considering that one knows everything right even in the Orthodox Christianity is a dangerous temptation, therefore, one should keep an open mind, not to change the rightful faith beliefs, but to extend them in ways that make sense today, in this world, without posing a threat to the Christian tradition.

For example, if you share an idea through your behavior, an explanation or an answer and another person rejects it, you could feel ashamed. Either of what you said or of the fact that you wrongfully hoped the other person would cherish your idea. If you feel shame because of what you said, the case is that you didn’t really believe it so much (and you cherished your image more) and in the latter case it is discounting the reality that each of us is entitled to own beliefs, including rejecting other beliefs.

This is what freedom of expression means: that you allow and accept, and even fight for the right of another person saying something you don’t agree to. In their essence, both totalitarisms (such as communism, fascism) and political correctness (cultural marxism) admit no opposition and no middleground. Totalitarisms use propaganda and mass control and political corectness uses public relations, lobby and public policies. In essence, in a true democracy nobody should feel ashamed of saying what one thinks and believes out of fright of negative repercussions.

 

The Mirror of the Idols

What is the alternative to looking in the mirror by living your life according to Holy Scripture? It is looking at what you think you can become without God. You become the idols you serve.

For example, if you serve wrath, you become wrath. In its extreme, hateful wrath makes anyone so insignificant until it all becomes a dot, a target to fire at. Wrath can be alternatively directed at a behavior, if emotional intelligence is used. For example, a parent may tell to a child: “I love you, therefore I am angry at your wrong ways”, and by that a negative emotion can be used in such a manner that it doesn’t become an idol.

If you serve pride, you become pride. For example, if you congratulate someone because you want to be congratulated yourself or want some attention, you have not only taken that person’s right to be redempted by rewarding that person in the now (rather than the eternity), but you have also become the exponent of pride. The idol is what gets ahead of you. If a parent emotionally supports a child to do something positive, then it is not pride which is fed (unless the parent actually is proud of himself), but the child’s self-esteem and motivation for learning and repeating a useful behavior.

If you serve lust, then everything you might have gathered in life through planning and discipline is put at the altar of whmisical desires to be sacrificed. Lust is an enemy to wisdom and the clouding of the mind – not only in the sexual form. Within lust, one may become the most urgent urge that emobodies the indisciplined and uncontrolled human being.

If you serve greed, then your identity becomes attached to the things you posess and/or aspire to posess: your value becomes what you are worth in the eyes of others and what you see in the mirror when you look at what you use to cover yourself with.

If you serve gluttony, your body will likely take the shape that you give it by serving this god. Both greed and gluttony may embody the desire, the aspiration to have the own physical needs met, believing that if one doesn’t do that, nothing and nobody will, when in fact only serving others through our talents can truly establish a balance. Of course, one must know how to choose who to serve.

If you serve sloth, then abandoning reponsabilities and gifts is a spiritual suicide, giving up to pessimism and negativism, depression and despair. For example, taking a calculated break after hard work is something which can bring balance, but you cannot counteract an exaggeration, an extreme, with another extreme. Two wrongs d’t make a right.

If you serve envy, then you feel a certain inferiority which tells you whatever another one has that you value must be used to bring him or her down, instead of using admiration as a force to take learnings from a model.

Which Do You Choose?

There you have, in a nutshell, the two possible mirrors between which you life pendulates. When you stop and look, what do you see?

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10 Useful Skills That Will Make You A Better Entrepreneur

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 31/07/2017

 

Working as a consultant for entrepreneurs is exciting and stressful in the same time. I know, because I’ve done it for years. So I decided to share some of my observations that might come as very useful for entrepreneurs and not only.

Not having these skills will not ruin you, but it would certainly slow you down. This is not an exhaustive list, just a “top of my mind” approach that I think would be very precious especially for those in the beginning of the road that make the leap from freelancing to entrepreneurship.

  1. Creating rules based on your principles. Any company is similar to the entrepreneur which creates it. In the beginning, especially if you don’t have a lot of employees, it will be easy to express how other people should behave, act or think concerning your business in order to respect what you want to create. Principles are like a lighthouse in the dark and in the night. In the beginning, they might be clear and easy. But the best way to share them is to express them as laying foundations for the rules: not too many, not too few, but clear for everybody. Once set, everyone must respect them. You must respect them the best. In the same time, it is important to train this skill, because your principles evolve and so do you.

  2. Express gratitude. Train yourself to use any anniversary, any opportunity in order to thank people which have made a contribution. Thank your clients after buying from you. Thank your collaborators for doing a good work. Thank your employees for reaching the goals. Thank your partners for supporting you. If you believe in God, keep this in mind: do not wish for God to give you how much you can take! You can take and have as much as you want as a burden in this life. Whatever you want, God can give you. But, in order to keep it, you must remember to be satisfied with less and with more, to take any success as a gift from God and not as a merit. The gratitude is a key skill for an entrepreneur.

  3. Recognize the teachable people. There are no real incompetents, only people who don’t manifest or have lost the capacity to learn. Therefore, choose wisely to work with only those people who can be taught. Do not hope that giving chances to seemingly talented people will make them fly and become stars. Most oftenly, the people you like the most are not those which necesarrily perform the best. Welcome the people who you choose to improve their careeer working with you!

  4. Train yourself to make distinctions between options, possibilities, opportunities and probabilities. All might sound similar, but they are very different. Anything is possible until you have to chose options. Those options must be at least probable. Between the options which are probable, you have to prioritize your opportunities and decide wether you want to choose them or create them. But remember, whatever you do, your options must not only be possible, but probable also! Many young professionals start their entrepreneurship career doing business plans like they did during faculty, but fail miserably. Know your territory and act upon that knowledge!

  5. Constantly develop yourself. What happens when the one thing that you are able to do for your clients is the thing that stops you the most from developing yourself? The competition will likely take over in a matter of time. You need to constantly be a source for re-invention. Working for your own development should not be in a competition with working for your customers or with your employees. Time for yourself to develop is also needed in order to enhance your business.

  6. How much do you allow yourself and others to act authentic in a relationship? Find and recognize the other people’s values, beliefs and convictions. Beliefs are convictions we believe to be true. Attitudes are collections of beliefs and values around a certain topic. There isn’t such a things as a “non-value” or “anti-value”, there are only different beliefs, values and attitudes. Erach person is motivated by different scopes and if you learn to discover those asking specific questions (such as some from LAB profile), it is worth to use them and to link them with each of the important actions that need to be taken for your business plans to work. Values lead to motivation. Motivation leads to vision. Vision leads to strategy. Why? Because where there’s a will, there’s a way. If the strategy does not take into consideration the values of the employees, it will be a difficult to implement strategy.

  7. Use the faults of the employees in the favor of the teams. Knowing that a certain person has a low performance in a certain area means that you know not to delegate to that person something (s)he might do which is wrong. Creating teams taking into consideration both their strong points and their weak points is a service that you can do creating the kind of complementarity that the collaborators could and should appreciate.

  8. Constantly shape in your mind the model of the best entrepreneur that you can be. How does that feel? What does this model do? How do you see him or her? Remember, it’s a model, it’s not Superman, it doesn’t have to be perfect. Practice in your mind what you would do in different types of situations: with your employees, with the clients, with the partners. Put yourself in the shoes of people who need to make difficult decisions. What’s worth doing to become such an entrepreneur? What is it important to giv up in order to become this model?

  9. How do you manage to diplomatically tell the truth and be convincing without lying? Practice rethorics and argumentation. What’s worth doing in oder to prove that you are right? Sometimes, it’s not enough top be right. It also depends how you say it. Having different reframing strategies in order to make each person think in his/her way is required, because not everybody will be convinced by the same arguments. In business, it doesn’t matter so much who is right, it matters what makes things profitable. Also, please keep in mynd, what others perceive as a message matters, not what we intend to transmit.

  10. Serve your clients, for their own good, don’t please them. Politicians, coaches and psychologists may oftenly be “punished” for actually serving those who chose them. Pleasing the clients is something which others can do very easily, but it takes some courage to educate your clients to recognize their own deep needs and to be glad they are actually served by what you are offering.

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The Testimonial, Set in Stone as the Referent Gave It?

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 12/12/2012

You have found out what a testimonial is and what benefits it brings to the personal brand. After that, we have discovered together from whom to request it and how. But, just as you should not count your chickens before they are hatched, you do not always get what you wish the way you requested it! What do you do then?

When to modify a testimonial

The moment a referent offers a testimonial, the ideas and words used belong to him/her. The marketer has the obligation to assume these just as they are offered by the referent, but in certain situations, can change:

  • orthographic, writing or punctuation mistakes

  • words that are repeated can be substituted

  • phrases that are too long can be divided into sentences

  • 2-3 words that could be replaced with better synonyms can be replaced

  • if it is needed, he/she can delete certain portions/ideas, if they do not affect the contextual meaning

Look below for an example of a modified testimonial. This testimonial, was originally received in the Romanian language (here translated to English) after that it was translated so that it would be usable at an international level. As you will observe, some meanings were lost in the translation and some corrections were needed. The first is the original. The second is the modifyed one.

Informaţiile obţinute prin aplicarea chestionarului Identity Compass® sunt deosebit de relevante şi pot fi folosite atât la nivel personal, cât şi în organizaţie la partea de evaluare la angajare/promovare şi la stabilirea unui plan pentru dezvoltarea individuală. Poate furniza managerilor date despre profilul motivaţional al subordonaţilor şi poate ajuta în contruirea echipelor performante.

Este un instrument uşor de folosit şi sunt convinsă că va avea o mare dezvoltare în domeniul organizaţional.

Mara Manea,

Training Specialist

Coca-Cola HBC Romania

 

« The information obtained by the Identity Compass®  questionnaire application are especially relevant and can be used at the personal level but in the organization, too (at the evaluation part of employment/promotion and for establishing an individual development plan). It can provide to managers data about the motivational profile of subordonates and can help to build performant teams.

It is an instrument easy to use and I am sure that it will have a great development in the organizational field. »

Mara Manea
Training specialist
Coca-Cola HBC Romania


«
 The information obtained by the Identity Compass®  IS especially relevant and can be used at the personal level AND in the organization too (TO EVALUATE FOR employment/promotion and for establishing an individual development plan). It can provide to managers data about the motivational profile of EMPLOYEES and can help to build HIGH PERFORMANCE teams. It is an instrument THAT IS easy to use and I am sure that it will have a great IMPACT in the FIELD OF ORGANIZATIONAL DEVELOPMENT. »

Mara Manea
Training specialist
Coca-Cola HBC Romania

This testimonial, after it was received, was contained just as it was offered, in a list with other, similar references and the referent received access to the document, having the right to oppose if it did not agree with the context it appeared. The testimonial refers to the product of a company which activates in over 40 countries and was translated, so that it would be able to be used for promotion at an international level. 2 persons with ability of decision in the respective company requested the modifications pinpointed above and it was needed to inquire the referent’s permission in order for the testimonial to be able to be published in its new form, even though you can observe it is not a big difference.

I have used this example, because in this case, the referent, inasmuch as the one who operated the testimonial are top experts in the domain they are active and have experience regarding the promotion of services. As a proof, you have observed how, sensitive to the loss of some meanings by translation, the recommended company’s representative insisted to adjust the testimonial, and did so with respect for each word the person had written. I know an example of one person that was to be sued because it sent, neglectfully, to some people, a version of a promotional document in which there was a version with 1-2 words that had not been modified in time at the referent’s request. Testimonials represent a thin line and matter for litigation. Example given, this article contains certain…examples. But these examples are used from testimonials for which the referents have given their acceptance for being used in public and the copyright law stipulates that any examples may be used for educational/demonstration purposes as is the case with this article, without requesting the referent’s permission deliberately, however these situations are pretty restricted. My recommendation is you request permission for everything and always to offer transparency to your referents.

<<Never mind, write there whatever you want and I will sign!>>

This is one of the phrases which many potential referents will tackle you with, alleging lack of time, inability, etc…

First, it is a deontological criteria, that obligates every initiator to use only real references, leading all the way to publishing the referent’s contact information even in the promotional material, in order to be able to verify (most frequently, in the online surroundings, link on the name to the e-mail address is practiced).

Second, another criteria exists, even more practical: if you write about what you would like others to read and you do it in a constant manner (in case you falsify the testimonials), you will notice at one moment that all the testimonies that you have signed by referents have almost the same style. I will give you an example about how much different the attitude, personality and style can be reflected of three persons who offer testimonials for the same service, of graphological analysis.

My personality was “read”, pretty much, by means of the graphological analysis and a part of the aspects found clarified some doubts regarding the choice of my future profession. In other words, the made description confirmed what I knew about be, on one hand, and on the other hand, made me discover other aspects which I did not know about and that are useful for creating a solid road.

In order to realize the best choices in life, first you must know yourself very well. I think the graphological analysis is a useful method regarding this and you do not have anything to lose by trying out this option. You might be surprised in a pleasant sense, just as I was, rediscovering myself in a large part of this graphological analysis and not only that, but even discovering things that I did not know about my personality”.

Madalena Tenchiu

Copy editor, Iasi

There are pseudo-psychological tests online. Anyone can take them and think they are correct. The truth is that nothing compares with the prepared individual who explains face-to-face how the things are. I liked the analysis. Besides the fact it was amusing, it was also useful for me. Useful and pleasant, the most beautiful of all combinations”.

Ioana Stefania Ciureanu,

Graduated Medicine and Pharmacy, Iasi

Even though I tried to dissimulate certain things on my page, Ştefan Alexandrescu, in the position of graphological analyst, made an exact analysis of my personality”.

Luana Stanciu,

Commercial law counsellor, Bucharest

It is obvious these three testimonials were written by different persons. And they represent, additionally, a warranty of the fact that persons from different domains (in this case, editorial, academic, economic-law) will have a positive view concerning the offered service, despite the difference of perspectives, style and field of activity. Likewise, we remember easier what we wrote/said than what anyone else wrote/said. The moment it will be contacted, a referent will know what he/she wrote you, as a reference, comparing to the situation where you composed a nice text and he/she only signed it.

Sometimes, it happens that you discover, with this occasion, that a person is not fully satisfied with your service and this will give you some suggestions of improvement. At one moment, together with a group of students from the department of psychology I tried a method of team-building. Even though it was not done until the end, due to limits of time and space, I had the impression it had gone well and thought it would be a good idea to request some references for the respective method, but with this occasion I discovered that things did not necessarily go bad, but they did not go as good as I would have liked to think. Two participants made some observations that helped me understand where I had done wrong. If I would not have requested these references, I would not have gotten a feed-back, even though I had requested feed-back immediately after the session of team-building. Which proves that…

A feed-back is not a reference,

and a reference is not a feed-back

The moment you receive a positive reference, warm, from the heart, from someone who you know was really helped by your product/service, it is the case to congratulate yourself. These are the most precious testimonials, even though it might happen for them not be observed by others, but they are the ones you will remember. Example given, in my work of profiling in the field of human resources, it happens sometimes for certain clients to have insights or revelations about themselves, a thing that can help them develop; even though the purpose of profiling is for example choosing a job or evaluation for a certain post, a side benefit might be that of the person being able to identify more clearly certain problems or directions for action by means of which to make a decision. Just as the case of Andreea was:

I have to admit that I have always needed help in identifying firstly my problems, or better said, their essence. I have always known I am also my biggest enemy. I have never understood why. The profile enlightened me from this perspective. After the profile, I had a sort of a revelation. And this opened my eyes upon the strategies that I should adopt regarding me in the future. I began today…

Stefan found the problem and its explanation in only an hour…for me it took years to understand the decisions I made. If I were to say in per cent the results of the profile in relation to reality, I would say 99%”.

Andreea Serban

Iasi

Now think well…even though I know what I would like the clients to express about the offered services, do you really think such a testimonial could be counterfeited? And to be of a different style compared to the other 7 testimonials of the same service on a certain type of profile? Small probability. Additionally, if you are good enough to make an effort in forging some references (a thing I consider absolutely embarrassing and irresponsible for someone who works in marketing) and to use styles that are sufficiently different so that you do it successfully, believe me that you have the abilities to offer your services at a level of quality that you will obtain testimonials <<for real>> with much less effort.

Those who will know best how to appreciate your work are others.

Leave the words to them, and these will come to you.

If you will run after wonderful descriptions in the (auto)promotion of your services, these will not come.

I thank you!

Happy Self Branding

Stefan

Useful references for the content of this article

Shelle Rose Charvet – Words that change minds/Cuvinte care schimbă minţi, Editura Amaltea, 2006

Dan Kennedy – Magnetic Marketing Collection

Andy Szekely – Ghidul credibilităţii, 2007

Jack Trout, Steve Rivkin – Puterea simplităţii

http://hypnoticmarketing.com/

www.bizcafe.ro

For a full list of articles on personal branding, in Romanian and English, press here.

 Previously published in Romanian [ro, blog] Translated by Răzvan Nidelea

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The Art of Respecting Others, by Ştefan Alexandrescu

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 27/08/2012

This is the original series of 11 articles that make up the paraphrase of Mircea Eliade’s work from the ’30s. It is titled the same way as the broader category: The Art of Respecting Others (20 articles)

 

The Art of Respecting Message

Actually Living Communication. Between investing and spending.

The Modern Buttons of the Digital People

“Soul” File is Write-Protected. Are You Sure You Want to Delete It?

Across-Messages Communication

The Art of Listening Others. Version 2.1.

Transcending Patterns of Communication

The Windmills of Your Mind

Less is more. Until it becomes nothing.

“The Art of Personal Branding”, or Sometimes, a “pen” is Just a pen. But Sometimes It Isn’t.

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The Psychometric Measurement of the Self-Esteem by Ştefan Alexandrescu

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 23/06/2011

Scientific abstract

This dissertation paper is comprised of: (a) An analytical and critical approach of the following concepts specific to the psychology of the personality: Self-Esteem Level (SEL), Self-Esteem Stability (SES), Self-Confidence (SC), respect, Self-Respect (SR), ego, narcissism, Frame Of Reference (FOR), ego strenght, pride, character, risk taking, thinking scenario (TS), motivation direction – in the purpose of structuring and differentiating between them – and (b) A research conducted using a psychometric quantitative multidimensional questionnaire, a qualitative inquiry and graphological analysis.

The concepts used in this work come from six areas: Psychology of personality (either for individual, educational or organizational use), psychotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), graphological analysis, transactional analysis (specifically the dramatic triangle comprised within the Karpmann formula) and coaching.

The fields which to which this research has implications or to which it may provide potential insight are: Psychology of personality, organizational psychology, NLP, graphological analysis, methodological research design, life coaching, transactional analysis and psychotherapy.

The main findings of this dissertation, argued by both the meta-analysis and research sections:

  • Self-Esteem (SE) has two different, separate, independent components, which produce different effects:Self-Esteem Level and Self-Esteem Stability. Although neither the previous or the current research clearly establishes a definite structure for any of these, the disseration study correlates in findings to previous approaches and argues based on data the differences proposed as hypothesis;

  • Self-Esteem is a complex, heterogenous psychological metatype, comprised of several concepts, which cannot be simply explained by two or three dimensions easy to describe. It is a metatype, not a metaprogram (MP);

  • Self-Respect and Self-Esteem are categorically separate, individual and independent concepts;

  • Self-Esteem differs from Self-Confidence, although it is not clear whether Self-Confidenceis a part of Self-Esteem (as some sources and own research data seems to indicate) or it is an independent standing concept, in the manner Self-Respect is to Self-Esteem;

  • Narcissism and ego are not dimensions underlining the high Self-Esteem, they are individual different concepts, which rather correlate either with low Self-Esteem or with unstable Self-Esteem, may they manifest as complexes of superiority or as complexes of inferiority;

  • Self-Esteem is a concept rather different from ego strenght and character;

  • Important, fundamental components of Self-Esteem Level are: TS and the degree of goal management;

  • Self-Esteem Level and Self-Esteem Stability can be measured graphologically;

  • Self-Respect is a concept related to respect, in connection with others. It is not clear yet, from the data available, either from previous or current research, which are the definite characteristics of the concepts, relations, but based on concept investigating and on data provided by current research, one cannot investigate self-respect without measuring the relationships each individual has with others;

  • A fundamental behavioral aspect about Self-Esteem is the response to external stimuli, such as: challenge, failure, conflict, distress and violence, either verbally of physically, including especially bullying;

  • Assertiveness plays a major role in correlation with either Self-Esteem Stability or Self-Respect (at the moment unclear, because obtained data does not correlate with theory and previous research in this aspect);

  • The qualitative and quantitative research offer similar findings. The external validitity for this study is not solid, but acceptable;

  • There are conceptual and research findings which support clear directions for future research.

Th e questionnaire development started 2007. The practical research has been applied in 2009-2010 in a population of pupils in the 12th grade in Bucharest highschools (N=123), aged 17-19, taking into consideration the construction of a psychometric scientifically valid instrument for measuring Self-Esteem, using both quantitative and qualitative methods. While the quantitative part has been structured starting from a work of psychotherapists, not researchers, the results have proven to be consistent with similar data findings among previous works.

Key Concepts in this disseration:acceptance, agression, assertiveness, away from, challenge response, character, coaching, communication, competence, conditional, unconditional, depression, development, dignity,distress, dramatic triangle, ego strenght, ego, emotional self-control, external, failure, fame, feed-back, frame of reference, future, goal, graphology, gratitude, happiness, health, high self-esteem, high self-respect,independence, inferiority complex, ingratitude, internal, low self-respect,low, self-esteem,metaprogram, metatype, mistake, motivation direction, narcissism, neuro-linguistic programming, NLP, optimism, persecutor, persistence, personal branding, pessimism, portrait, pride, psychotherapy, reaction to uncertainty, respect, risk taking, saviour, self-acceptance, self-confidence, self-esteem level, self-esteem stability, self-esteem, self-knowledge, self-respect, sense of orientation, sensitiveness, stable, superiority complex, support, teens, thinking scenario, towards, trust, type, unstable, vainglory,victim, virtue, wishful thinking.

 

 

 

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“The Art of Personal Branding”, or Sometimes, a “Pen” is Just a Pen. But Sometimes It Isn’t.

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 15/06/2011

Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar

Sigmund Freud

According to Alfred Korzybski [en, wiki], the greatest epistemologist of the XXth century, in his work “Science and Sanity” [full book, en, html index, pdf chapters] for example in the case of the word “pen”, when I take it in my hand and I say: “This is a pen”, actually THAT which I am actually holding in my hand is NOT  a pen, as for the word “pen” is simply a limitation for all of the possibilities of that object to manifest its functions. Naming it a “pen” gives it a specific use and determination, therefore, a limitation. By the words we use, we pattern the reality, we map across meaning according to context, according to pre-determined neuronal pathways. For example, for the same object defined by the word “pen”, a teacher could use a word as “space ship” to explain a time-space continuum concept, or the “pen” can be in fact labeled as a “weapon” and registered by the police in the case of a murder. Any specific object carries in it all its potentiality of meaning, which is inherent to the structure it determines it, but is only limited by the imagination of the user of the “pen” ’s potential.

The truth is between what you know and what you do not know lies all which you can assume.  The need to cover anything with a rule, a structure, an explanation, will determine you to draw a wrong conclusion when you limit your imagination. Now if you think this kind of theoretical conceptualization cannot influence your life, think again.

A year ago, when the WHO swine flu pandemic hoax [en, html], it was actually based on the fact that WHO (World Health Organization) changed the definition for the word “pandemy”, so that any kind of flu (regardless of the rate of mortality) can be covered by the definition in meaning, thus enforcing the governments throughout the world to take measures against the “pandemy”, as mandated by their contracts with WHO (please read “World Hoax Organization”). The explanation? Although the meaning of the word was changed by WHO changing the definition, the references in all the written contracts and laws around the world remained the same. Those reading in the laws the word “pandemy” did not check weather the definition of the word remained the same as when that document was written. It was not. But the mere term “pandemy” certainly got a lot of people scared, and without real basis, without checking the information at the source.

Today, for digital people, the loss of attention to true meaning, the lack of true presence in communication (as a form of respect) actually explains a lot of weird things specific to digital man. It explains, among others, his/her lack of awareness concerning communication. It explains, more above all, the digital people’s drama, which cannot escape the communication activities except through vacations, sleep or drugs.

The direction of a communication is its result.

The essence of any communication lies in its meaning.

But, as we cannot fully experience what is regularly defined as a “pen” for all the quantum possibilities it has for its meaning, we cannot experience transcending time while in time. We cannot see a person from all the possible angles and contexts at once. We cannot comprehend what actually the “true self” means. We operate with bits and pieces of information, holographically regenerating the image of that person in our mind. And sometimes, most times, it is only when showing just a few aspects, a few personal brands traits, you have determined the viewer, the spectator of your show, to buy. As long as the promise of your brand lives up to the buyer’s expectations, you have done a great job.

The process of virtually mapping over contexts one’s details from one context can be correct, presuming you use the proper patterns, and the predictability is proven according to the patterns that you know, which you have presumably depicted. But did you? Did you really? Please remember that some people have curtains as thick as a sheet, but some may have the curtains as thick as a wall. Why do you think the very good actors get payed so well?

Watching at a cube, from a fully perpendicular real-space vision, makes it look like a square. Are you at least aware of those images you look at, seeming a square, that they are, in essence, cubes? So, what really holds the meaning for a certain vision?

Please also check, concerning this topic, “Mindhunters HR”[en, video, blog]

I have a more important, self-reflected question. As saying that when looking into an abyss, the abyss will look back at you, what do the patterns which you mapped across the others say about yourself?

The true experience of self and respect of others implies lack of mental and emotional projection. Presence in essence. Presence IS essence.

The art of respecting others starts with the art of respecting yourself.

It lies written in the Bible, for all who wish to discover meaning, vision and wisdom: “Love your neighbor as you love thyself”. But what if you don’t (know how) love yourself? What if you don’t even know yourself?

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Transcending Patterns of Communication

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 04/04/2011

We should, at least, have some few moments of doubt faced with each person; maybe that human being holds a tragedy or maybe (s)he lives a miracle, inconsistent with the frameworks of your pattern. Who can tell?

(S)he who does not know how to dissipate his or her communication always acts out automatically: you left-click, (s)he whirrs left (see Cialdini’s principle [en, html]); you click right, (s)he opens a new window. But your miracle, your life, where is it?

To these instant-click resonating-people, to these “one-line communicating” people, to these “patterns-firewalls-people”, which always know beforehand on which pattern you subscribe even more than you do, the quite essential escapes them: your true self, your own innovating, pattern-less re-creation beyond development… of oneself.

We come to this world with a brain, but we are not served with a user’s manual for it [en, html]. We get used to behaviors, never questioning weather there is another way, like for example in time perception. We are getting used to wasting time, just wondering and indulging in what’s coming around, and then feel uncommon to schedule, plan and respect deadlines.

We never get to a balance, a metaperspective, a flexibility beyond this pattern of “in time” (semi-related to chronemics [en, wiki] “monochrony”) and “meta time” (semi-related to “polychrony”).

We almost forget there is an across-time pattern (which I foresee to develop, considering the exponential multitasking culture of the digital people). It also exists the between time / not minding time pattern (the actual pattern being described in Mircea Eliade’s original lecture, easily mistaken with “in time”/”polychronic” perspective) .

The transcending of time corresponds to something very different from “in time” and from “meta time” (If you wish to read more on these, please access this yet unpublished article [ro, pdf], which I was told to be conceptual ground-breaking).

The digital people don’t know how to dissipate communication, to leave messages go beyond themselves, to transcendthe means and patterns of communication towards providing a deep sense, with all the revelations and miracles inherent to treasuring the word. The meaning. The essence. That word, that power of the word, which existed from the beginning, before communication.

As communication is measured through e-mails, SMS, tweets, statuses, phone calls, YM lines and spent in a distractive pseudo-activity, similarly people obtain knowledge through an external system of frames and numbers [en, blog]. You will understand these people’s patterns when you will listen to them talking or writing about you to yourself.

They will tell you so many logical things, so many justified theories, and they will miss exactly what is most significant, most personal and most precious, beyond your patterns (metaprograms [ro, blog], metatypes [ro, blog], values levels, personality traits) which they might or might not correctly depict. They probably never knew to truly listen to YOU.

Communication dissipating – and not sterile use of communication – has this great virtue of largely opening the gates for actual comprehension, for concrete understanding. When you truly dissipate communication, when you surrender to the inner beauty of the person in front of you, beyond how you might define it (therefore limit it), when you surrender to the true meaning of life instances, doing nothing else than just to watch, listen and feel the reality in front of you, all around you, across yourself and beyond, you will make discoveries beyond your usual experience.

If you have enjoyed this article, it is likely you will also enjoy the previous & the following ones [en,blog]:

 

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The Art of Listening Others. Version 2.1.

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 03/08/2010

If certain simple truths do not circulate and do not nourish the digital people’s lives, it is because nobody listens to these simple truths, although they are tweeted, posted, googled, embedded, linked, mashed-up, youtubed, chain lettered and, I must admit, in some very, very special, more rare cases… pop-up-ed (almost never pop-under-ed).

Nobody respects the true self of others because they know not to respect themselves. Nobody actually dissipates communication, all come prepared to engage, to reply a pre-edited post, only customised for that niche – just replace a few words and it it will suffice (as I did with Mircea Eliade‘s  [en, wiki] classic lecture [ro, pdf]).

We reply to what we think we’ve heard, respond to what we dellusionally have the impression we’ve listened, within the framewalls of our pattern-based thinking. Or sometimes they don’t even know how to genuinely recognize the correct pattern within the framework of their beliefs, mistaking it for another clockwork (mis)representation.

Everyone thinks they know what lies in yourself and how you think. And they actually do, as long as you act and behave according to your patterns, never thinking about flexibly change perspectives; never changing metaprograms [en, wiki]; never being yourself by acting different; never doing something you’ve never done before (and feeling in the same time more yourself than you’ve ever felt in your life); never expressing spontaneity and creativity while respecting a planned schedule (in stead of being its prisoner); never looking into someone’s eyes and see that person as (s)he is, with and without his or her metaprograms, metatypes, values levels or expectations, standards, behaviors; never actually being, because of (being) so preoccupied with doing; or living by being so preoccupied with acting.

People don’t know how to presentfully listen to one another, especially Romanians (if you disagree, read Constantin Radulescu Motru’s “Psihologia poporului roman” [ro, scribd], or Drăghicescu’s “Din Psihologia poporului Român“[ro, scribd], or the HRD study [ro, html] or the Profiles International Study, or JUST PAY TRUE ATTENTION AROUND).

That is the reason for which they do not truly know each other, no matter how much rambling poor “communication” they scatter into the air.

If you have enjoyed this article, you will also enjoy this list [en, blog]

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Across-Messages Communication

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 31/07/2010

True communication dissipation indicates a full tank of thought, a provisional suspending of present certitudes, but also keeps attention, lucidity, presence. On the contrary to true communication dissipation, digital fun buttons [en, blog] create and impose an attention external to oneself. That is, like once upon a time within the previous century, the case forweb 1.0 [en, wiki], where all attention and critical thinking was being (and still is, for some) directed and dominated, together with your expression ability and contribution restricted to the viewing user’s sub-identity.

Another contrary to communication dissipation is encountered in social media coverage, where again the attention is imposed by a well formulated event, external to yourself, of which you knew beforehand happening, by newsletter, tweet stream or press release to which you could assist by planning it into your google calendar [en, php] and then read about it, copy+paste-it or retweet it.

All these distractive means do not allow you the respect to express yourself through communication, but steal it away from you. They are pattern-generated, automatic, typical. You precisely know your self-expression rights will be restricted for about at least a few tweets, posts, calls, for it is not YOUR content that you dissipate. This can all be admirable, sometimes, but that does not mean respecting one’s true self, it actually means disconsidering it (“it”, formerly “him” or “her” as a person).

All this does not mean bringing life to communication, but killing it, dismissing it, paint over the issues of dislike and selling it to yourself for more than its worth. It is the painful tendency of the digital spirit, both online and offline, to map patterns across others, even the most spontane communication expression and dissipation. This pattern-mapping does not have any connection to harmony, to rhytmicity, to relevance, to what truly, extensively is the relevance of any human life, but simply usability [en, wiki]: from one message to the other.

You cannot ever more surprisingly, more richfully, more fullfillingful live your life, than when you dissipate communication by expressing your true self and respect others for who they are, not for what you or anyone else intended or wish for them to be(come). As a matter of fact, only after youtruly respect others, you can understand and accept them.

Otherwise, you scatterfully waste your vision, waiting to be agreed upon. You genuinely express your pattern expecting to be resonated with. You mentally project the expectations of behaving towards being (living).

In some other, more tragic cases, you just follow so that you can retweet; you subscribe only to copy+paste links; you only blogroll to be link exchanged or you add “friends” just to have your face booked by the criteria of all definitions set by yourself.

You are no longer a living being. You have become a pattern.

You have become a metaprogram [en, wiki] or, even worse, a metatype. In stead of controlling your metaprograms and metatypes (as they are not evil in essence, but can become so in use), they have ended up controlling you. These are the mind-lines according to which the digital people live, but to which they never consciously subscribe, invite, add or follow.

If you have enjoyed this article, you will also enjoy the rest of the articles inspired from Mircea Eliade [en, blog].

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