Analytic Vision

Posts Tagged ‘coaching’

What is Schema Dynamics Programming

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 06/07/2017

 

The terminology

“Schema” comes from schema therapy and refers to the maladaptive schemas taxonomy developed by Jeffrey Young, Ph.D. and his collaborators since the ’80s. It is the problem-oriented component of the field, using psychometric questionnaires developed and tested by scientists to evaluate which are the schemas and modes which pathologically influence the emotions, the thoughts, the behavior and the language of the people. Schemas are triggered by traumas, most likely from childhood and, through complications, when activated, may generate discomfort, stress, challenge, failure and ultimately, psychiatric illness.

Dynamics” comes from “Spiral Dynamics”, a field founded in the ’70s by Clare Graves, Ph.D., and it refers to the multiple values levels layered in the personality, which may be changing in time. It is the results-driven component of the field, using advanced psychometric testing developed by professional researchers in order to discover which type of potential and perspective is enabled in order to support the transformational development of the individuals and societies.

Programming” comes from “Neuro-Linguistic Programming” (NLP), the field developed by Richard Bandler and John Grinder, Ph.D. starting in the ’70s, centered on using complex practical processes in order to provide with models of excellence. Although sometimes presented as a pseudoscience, some fields of NLP, such as metaprograms and values have been psychometrically tested as scientifically valid models of correctly structuring the language, behavior and personality.

ST (schema therapy) and NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) have both common roots in Gestalt therapy.

In some NLP Master Practitioner training, the Spiral Dynamics model is studied.

 

Positioning

What are the characteristics of Schema Dynamics Programming? How is SDP different from:

  • Psychotherapy?

  • NLP (neuro-linguistic programming)?

  • Spiral Dynamics?

  • ST (schema therapy)?

  • Coaching?

SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) provides the client with a flexible set of processes for personal transformation. This enables the functions of both psychotherapy and coaching: it works both for the traumas in the past and the goals in the future.

SDP provides a directed structure. The schema dynamic programmer knows how to recognize and measure the results of the changes when dealing with personal issues, professional goals, past, present and future. The structure is directed in the sense that the schema dynamic programmer uses both descriptive complex maps and tools to knows where the client is, knows where (s)he wants to go and, after considering the available options (tools, processes, techniques), chooses one or several procedures to follow and monitor.

To merely give an example, as a difference to coaching, the schema dynamic programmer may offer his/her opinion, contradict the client and give advice if necessary. The schema dynamic programmer is focused on practical exercises and homework which require a solid amount of effort (emotional, and even physical and logistic) from the client. This work is both oriented to the past and the future and it does not accept the personality of the client as a given, but as a starting point in the work done, which is a mere effect of life experiences and environment and may be subject to change.

Using this strategic approach, with the appropriate approach, issues such as introversion, panic attacks, PTSD, psychosomatization, phobias, alixitimy, allergies, emotional stress response, abandonment, mistrust, emotional deprivation, entitlement, abandonment and others (to name just a few) can be completely and ultimately removed and replaced with functional systems within the subconscious and the conscious.

As a set of tools oriented towards professional growth, SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) can provide clients with life-changing experiences which enable them to advance in the Spiral Dynamics model within months (in stead of years) and achieve professional and personal benefits such as:

  • job and career change and performance;

  • happy marriages;

  • increased revenues;

  • status change.

SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) focuses, as ST (schema therapy) does as well, on both emotional and cognitive-rational aspects of the change, but where ST (schema therapy) insists on working with modes (especially considering the psychiatric interventions), SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) insists on working with metaprograms. Where ST (schema therapy) insists on working with imagery, SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) has its own, much more effective and advanced process, designed by its founder. Such processes are similar to several NLP techniques but different from all of them, and it does not necessarily involve trance/hypnosis. NLP is also more focused on fast solving of the surface issues, which may work in alleviating effects but not always causes. For example, a metaprogram change can be successful for a healthy adult, but may be undone if at the root of the metaprogram change there is a maladaptive schema caused by an abusive trauma from the past.

Where ST (schema therapy) insists on analysis, SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) insists on homework and delegating as much of the change work to the client, once (s)he earns the skills and learns the processes a model for personal change. While psychotherapy generally insists on the necessity of the process being administered by a state-approved specialist, the SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) processes can be easy, independently learned and applied by each client, provided (s)he has the appropriate personality and skills inclinations. In this sense, SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) is nearer to coaching. While the client is encouraged to use for the self some of the processes, (s)he is not encouraged to become a schema dynamic programmer with other people without proper supervision.

Spiral Dynamics offers a deep conceptual framework which many of the psychologists and psychiatrists are not aware of and not even most of the coaches. On this foundation, an important SDP premise is that almost any NLP-type process can be run, focusing on developing skills and attitudes, once the maladaptive schemas have started to change in intensity. Thus, Spiral Dynamics offers not only a strategic measuring tool, but also a chart, a map of transformations, a clear direction of development once the client is freed from many of the startling issues and also some tools, for most advanced knowledge.

 

A unified theory of personality psychology

For several decades, clinical psychology and organizational or positive psychology have insisted on different aspects of the human psyche:

  • interpreting the past (retrospection) vs predicting the future (prospection);

  • problems vs. goals;

  • why vs. how;

  • reflective analysis vs. active experience (exercise);

  • addictions vs virtues;

  • learning vs. growing;

  • abstract vs. concrete;

  • personal vs. professional;

  • body vs. mind;

  • solving vs. developing;

  • issues vs. potential;

  • negative vs. positive;

  • mistakes vs. performance;

  • comprehension vs. action;

  • reparation vs. fine-tuning performance;

  • emotions vs. reason;

  • awareness for insight vs. awareness for decision/action;

  • static vs. dynamic; 

  • treating vs training;

  • obstacles vs resources’

  • linear thinking (Aristotelian) vs. systemic thinking (non-Aristotelian);

  • diffusiveness vs. focus;

  • deliberate slowness vs. witty quickness;

  • cautious desurgency vs. exuberant surgency;

  • relationship vs. task;

  • pain vs. excitement;

  • long term vs. medium/short term;

  • acceptance vs. change;

  • diagnosis vs. enhancement;

  • tense strictness vs. moderate willingness;

  • guiding vs. directing;

  • assessment vs. evaluation;

  • teaching vs. knowing;

  • floating vs. flying

and so on.

 

Differentiating for the future

SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) is not the only mixed approach available. It may even not be the best. But it works, and it will be tested of how well it works in comparison to any of the separate components to which it is compared.

SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) is being developed by Ștefan Alexandrescu as a groundbreaking new field with its own applications and is NOT in direct competition with ST (schema therapy), Spiral Dynamics and NLP. It is important that this field would support the development and most especially, the research of these 3 original fields, on which it is grounded. It is not intended as a substitute, but as an alternative, as an enhancer, as a continuation, as it is different from all of the above mentioned.

However, SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) does clearly enter in competition with:

  • regular psychotherapy

  • coaching

Regular psychotherapists and coaches which lack skills and knowledge in all of these three fields are not accredited, nor advised, nor recommended to clients. As SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) is a practical field, the researchers are challenged to devise experimental tests and projects to compare the effectiveness of SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) with either regular psychotherapy and coaching. SDP (Schema Dynamics Programming) is simply different and superior, through techniques, skills and results to regular psychotherapy and coaching. This is not a marketing statement, it is simply a reflection of the reality, based on the obtained. And it’s getting better and better, steady and slowly.

People who are interested in learning these skills are advised to contact Ștefan Alexandrescu directly.

The theoretical component of Schema Dynamics Programming also integrates models from transactional analysis, positive psychology, multiple intelligences, motivational psychology and from landmark specialists such as Jeffrey Young, Clare Graves, Abraham Maslow, Robert Dilts, Anthony Robbins, David McClelland, W. Gerrod Parrot, Robert Plutchick, Brian Tracy (correlating research to be determined) and could be correlated in the future with several other theories. You may download here a synthesis pdf.

Copyright © Ștefan Alexandrescu, 2017. None of the contents of this page can be reproduced without the written express consent of Ștefan Alexandrescu. No exceptions allowed.

If you liked this article, please also read this:

Schema Dynamics Programming with Stefan Alexandrescu (25.12.2016)

How to Live a Perfect Life. Part I. (31.10.2017)

How to Live a Perfect Life, part II. The First 4 Out of 12 Steps, In the Right Order (13.11.2016)

How to Live a Perfect Life, part III. Steps 5-8 Out of 12, In the Right Order (17.11.2016)

How to Live a Perfect Life, Last Part. Steps 9-12 Out of 12, In the Right Order (21.11.2016)

PS: Thanks to Diana Andreea Bădrăgan.

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Some differences between working hard and working SMART

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 27/06/2017

What is the difference between efficiency and effectiveness?

Efficiency is putting the ladder on the wall and climbing it down the other side of the wall as fast as possible. Effectiveness is knowing on which wall to put the ladder.

Some people learn in life, either by experience or modeling, to cherish the hard work. While this is important and certainly correlated with positive outcomes, it’s certainly not the most important.

Some people hear “strategy” and understand “procedure” or “technique”, hear “planning” and hear “lack of liberty” because some of the most relevant representations of these have been expressed in an extreme way.

Some people consider experience as a relevant source of learning. Hard work, trying and failing, persevering on one’s own path is currently mantra for many. Still, it is, for other people the poorest form of learning.

So if running after some unrelenting standards must be a very precious value in order to ensure quality, it seems weird that some of those who promote them (despite the qualities and advantages it defers to consumers of their products and services) are so tired, bored, unnerved and tense. Something doesn’t quite add up.

There is no need for conflict. Things can be done fast and best. You may learn through modeling more effective than through experience – if you have the right models (finding them requires skill). You may plan and enjoy your life. You may strategize and find opportunities that allow you creatively move in freedom. You may work enough and intelligently. Providing best quality can be a rewarding experience during the process. Want to know how to get there? Here it is some advice I find useful.

  1. Ask yourself every day or as often as possible: what little change, added to the baseline of my performance, can make an outstanding difference?
  2. What other perspective can this be seen from?
  3. How are others succeeding and why? What can be replicated?
  4. What is the proper structure for getting the results envisioned?
  5. How will this be mostly done in 5 years?
  6. Who has the proper experience, results and motivation to take in consideration as a model?
  7. How do you see yourself from the outside when having the goal completed? Backtrack from that moment: what will you be doing a week earlier, a month earlier?
  8. How is seeing the bigger picture helping you with deciding differently?
  9. How is this working plan helping you today with the perfect plan you mean to do tomorrow?
  10. How does changing the people you work with/for support you in making a bigger impact with fewer efforts?
  11. What other useful, important things might you be doing with your efforts if you’d have more time?
  12. How could the people you are working with/for make your work/life easier?
  13. What other people could you choose to work with/for and how could you find them?
  14. What other goals might be more worthy of your efforts?
  15. How would changing the challenges you confront support you to develop yourself?
  16. Who wold get an award for doing what you are already doing?
  17. What would make you able to choose better?
  18. In what context is the kind of hard work you do more appreciated or featured?
  19. Who would benefit the most from your efforts?
  20. Who would care more about your deeper intentions?
  21. How could you reinvent your work?

How do you think about your efforts now? Do they seem more intelligent? Now, that you will be able to do smarter work, you may choose if and in which directions you prefer to work hard.

What does SMART mean in goal management?

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Realistic

Time-limited

For example take in consideration such a table that can be used in order to detail and support any goal formulation, to make sure it can be measured in tasks, time and units, therefore making it achievable in a realistic timeframe set.

How could I improve this goal, working smarter and less, using just some of the questions I recommended?

  • I could use an application which would correct my errors as I type (such as https://www.grammarly.com/)
  • I could record my voice reading the content of an article and delegate to someone to transcribe it.
  • I could delegate the translation into English from Romanian of several articles I already wrote
  • I could write useful copy to promote my services as posts which would also make interesting reading
  • I could write useful articles for my clients
  • Make a plan of how many clients do I want to gain using my articles on this blog
  • Use the time saved to serve existing customers and develop strategies to find new ones

 

SMART goal

Motivation

Tasks

Time-limited

What?

Why?

What specifically?

How much? (for each article)

Publish 2 posts/month on Analytic Vision, monthly, covering by 2018 all the subjects in the Excel file (24 posts/year)

 

Contribution

Support

Professionalism

Enjoyment

1. update excel ideas file 1. 5 mins
2. design structure 2. 5 mins
3. create content 3. 20-90 mins
4. check content 4. 10-20 mins
5. publish content 5. 10 mins
6. share content 6. 2 mins

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Schema Dynamics Programming with Stefan Alexandrescu

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 25/12/2016


woman-570883_1920

Psychologists have worked for more than 100 years in order to find explanations for how the human mind and personality works, to heal the problems hidden deep inside of us. Personal development fields such as neuro-linguistic programming and transactional analysis have come up with effective and efficient solutions for breakthrough to success. Clinical psychology and development of excellence have been long time separated. Now there is a possibility to unite the best of both world: heal the suffering mind and personality and drive it to success and performance.

Questions for you

  • How would it be for you to find out what holds you back to access your full potential and succeed?

  • How can you confront, heal and solve your traumas?

  • Do you want to find the deep psychological and emotional roots of your problems?

  • Are you ready to confront a profound truth about who you are and and how to get yourself out of your way?

  • Have you implemented powerful changes using fields such as psychotherapy, coaching, personal development consulting but only up to one point?

If your answer to any of these questions is “YES”, then this will interest you.

Please read the following lines, as the world they open up might amazingly transform your life!

A revolutionary approach

My name is Ștefan Alexandrescu and I worked one on one with hundreds of customers since 2004. I have always been interested in finding out why some of the people who came to me for various problems or goals succeeded after just 2-3 sessions and some needed tens of sessions. Now I found out and everything else I knew fitted in like a puzzle.

The key I was missing was offered to my by schema therapy, but I found something even better. Using advanced techniques that I tested and developed in working with clients, I have found out what some might call ”the Holy Grail” of psychology and personal development. I have developed an integrative approach using schema therapy conceptualization and homework, Spiral Dynamics theory, NLP techniques and various correlations with other psychological theories that is unique.

Answers for you

I have so far worked with 6 customers in 2016 and after tens of individual sessions I have come to some amazing results.

  • Do you also want to know and deeply understand how your personality works inside out?

  • Do you also wish to unveil the deepest roots of all your sidetracks that cover your potential?

  • Do you want to set your path straight to a powerful future that will fulfill your goals and talents?

  • Do you also want to embark on a journey confronting all the fears, limiting beliefs, uncovered traumas and inner conflicts in order to break through of them?

  • Do you want to find out what has been keeping you from becoming who you were meant to be?

If your answer to any of these questions is “yes”, then please keep reading, because I am going to present you how and what.

The questionnaires

The first thing you need to do is to complete several tests (psychometric questionnaires), totaling a few hundreds of questions. These will require a lot of concentration and a state of introspection. Based on your answers at those questions, you will have to send me the results and I will calculate your scores, make a few correlations and offer you a free evaluation.

When we meet, either face to face or through Skype, the evaluation must be done with the results open (all the Excel and PDF files), so that you have a full understanding of how the model of interpretation works for you.

The tests I will give you will have identified a detailed list of:

  • your strong points, in skills, talents and personality traits

  • your main weak points, that hold you down from reaching higher goals

  • how these are correlated with your experience and manifestations

These tests work within the correlations between various theories from NLP, transactional analysis, Spiral Dynamics, schema therapy and classical psychology.

The tests can be done for free in a variety of forms. The first consulting session of brief, general interpretation of these profiles is provided fully free of charge, with no strings attached. If you decide that you want to start a journey of deep transformation, a program tailored specifically for your needs awaits you. The program is designed to be flexible and very efficient. It will require time, money and effort, but I promise you it will be one of the best investments you have ever done in your life if you choose to go through it.

You have now the chance to be part of the second wave of clients using this integrated approach between personal development for excellence and clinical psychology. This has already provided amazing results for clients in just a matter of months! Please inquire further if you want to know more about the consulting activity of Stefan Alexandrescu in 2016.

This isn’t for you if:

  • you cannot allocate at least 2 hour/week or 1 hour/week for the consulting session and at least 3-4 times more for homework (journals, letters, goal formulations, lists, questionnaires)

  • you think 50 euros/hour for a program that can change your life in a few months is too much

  • you are afraid to confront yourself, discover yourself in depth

  • you don’t care about what happens to you in the future

  • it’s OK to postpone your goals, happiness, fulfillment or healing time and again

  • you don’t have the discipline to invest the efforts into your development

with the likely results that:

  • you will try to fix surface issues (effects) which will appear in your life in various ways, with little chance to approach the deep roots

  • you will try to fix behaviors (effects) in stead of beliefs, emotions and experiences (causes)

  • the problems will cost you more than solving them

  • feel this sounds great, but you don’t have a few hours to complete the questionnaires

This is a difficult and challenging process. Not everyone is up for it. Are you ready? I can promise you this:

  • you will unveil painful memories

  • you will understand the mechanisms of faulty behaviors that endanger your life as you know it

  • you will experience intense negative emotions

  • you will feel disappointed towards people in your life

  • you might try to find excuses to interrupt the process

with the likely effect that in the end:

  • you will have deep insights

  • you will be able to choose in the present what is appropriate for you

  • you will understand and accept yourself and others

  • you will experience the power of forgiveness

  • you will train the skills you need to perform

  • you will become a better parent

  • you will be able to heal deep wounds in the past that restrain you from being yourself.

Start now!

The first steps are to get in touch with me, receive the questionnaires, complete them, let me score them and receive your free evaluation!

Find out more! Get in touch NOW! This is for you!

Ștefan Alexandrescu

0040 729 034 883

stefan [dot] alexandrescu [at] yahoo ]dot] com

Copyright © Ștefan Alexandrescu, 2016

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13 Hints – How to Separate Value from Mind Bugging In Webinars

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 26/11/2016

In the past years, putting together the increase of internet bandwidth supporting high definition instant live video streaming, the increasing capacities of server streaming for thousands of people, together with the price falling for hardware technology, internet access (even on mobile devices) and data centers services, more and more learning companies develop business models centered on webinars in multiple formats which promise to deliver some free information to the watchers/listeners and some sort of attractive special offer.

In my experience, such webinars can be somewhere between money-making & life changing to an utter waste of time listening to some charlatan’s bogus.

There are certain programs which facilitate access to various learning workshops providing practical blueprints with videos, audios, workbooks, transcripts, forms, procedures, tables and so on.

webinar

Of course, many people might be convinced to spend some time with these stuff, but I’m going to give you some suggestions about how to not lose too much time with this stuff while also getting most out of such opportunities. What you might not know about most of these:

  1. Most webinars are promised to last a certain amount of time. They usually last double, but if you stay till the end, you may find the real offer with special discount.
  2. Very many of the programs offered for hundreds of dollars can be found on the same website with a special significant discount, such just a few tens of dollars or even just 1 $. Of course, if you don’t know how to look for it or don’t at least try to close the page and see if you are tempted in that moment with a lower offer, you get taxed more. For example, I participated in a webinar where they were selling a course for 279$ and I found it at 1 $ while browsing on the web for it during the webinar. Another program was being offered at 999 $ and was later offered for 50 $ after a month for those who didn’t buy it initially.
  3. Some of what you learn can really make you a lot of money and change your life, IF you apply those things. But, basically, when you subscribe to a webinar you find out that there’s about 80% promotion and 20 % content because a webinar is essentially a 2-3 hour-commercial
  4. If you subscribed for the webinar and bothered appearing just for 5 minutes, most trainers will send you the replay to watch/listen whenever you want to, like for example on your dumbphone. This is a very good and practical idea especially if you are not convinced you want to buy whatever that person is selling you. In the same time, it must be said that by doing so, you are guaranteed to miss the time-limited offer at the end of the webinar.
  5. Theoretically, you have the opportunity to ask some questions during the live webinar, but there are chances that from thousands of people attending and hundreds asking questions, yours wouldn’t be answered unless they are very good and posted multiple times or by different people.
  6. Many of them have nothing to do with the advertised subject, they are just a bunch of shitty hocus-pocus new age mindbabble since the time of “The Secret”. I though people grew up and overcame that fashion, but apparently there are still thousands of suckers hoarding in thinking that through visualization they are going to mind-bend the universe.
  7. The most practical things I found are the entrepreneurship, marketing and social media oriented contents which practically show you how to organize business around consulting and training. I suggest you take some of those things, apply them and share them with your customers.
  8. When the topic is not oriented on something concrete about business or sales, there are some things to be taken from the amount of psychobabble, but it must be clearly discerned and that takes very much time. So be prepared to take some notes and not get bored with the rest of the content which might be confusing or useless. Watching/listening to a webinar DOES require some present and active knowledge about the topic, otherwise you might just believe everything the presenter is telling, which in most cases can be very dangerous.
  9. All the payments must also be done through PayPal or ClickBank. If the page you are directed to only obligates you to buy with your card, something might be wrong. Before deciding to buy, check the name of the program being advertised together with “scam”, “fraud” or “hoax” together. See what you find. Some of these stuff are just pyramidal schemes, working on the principle: step 1. give something small and valuable step 2. make people think there is more 3. repeat steps 1 &2 indefinitely until the buyers run out of money.
  10. If you are smart and know a little bit more about the subject, you can implement some valuable ideas without buying the whole program. Or you could use the presentation as a model and learn from the selling skills of the presenter and use them in your own experience.
  11. Whatever the topic of interest is, you may find free recorded and valuable webinars on video.google.com . Also, look for similar topics in MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses). You might get a similar or better content for free. Find some MOOCs appropriate for you searching on customized keywords here: https://www.mooc-list.com/
  12. The most serious and well-planned online trainings do offer the access to a closed community, usually on Facebook, where you can interact with other participants and with trainers, ask questions and create business opportunities. I think this is one of the most important features, if you have time to access it.
  13. Find out if there is a return policy. Usually, there is something like if you don’t like what you find, you get a full or a partial refund in 7 or 10 days, so hurry up and check if you like what you found. If not, get your money back! Usually, the process takes a few days, so don’t last until the last days, because even if you send the request within time, if it’s not process you might lose the money you want to get back. Some companies retain something like 10-15 % for comission processing or stuff like that, some reimburse you the full payment. Also, don’t use this loophole to abuse the system! If the content is truly helpful, respect the work and pay the money.

Stefan Alexandrescu

consultant in personal and professional development

0040 729 034 883

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How to Live a Perfect Life, Last Part. Steps 9-12 Out of 12, In the Right Order

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 21/11/2016

 

Part I

Part II

Part III

 stepping-stones-pixabay

9. Set rewarding excellence goals and become the best in your business

It seems that there have been many steps until here, but all your efforts will be completely rewarded. Definitely, you can only become the best in your job, organization, niche or business if you have managed to confront the typical problems swifter and effective, if you have delivered on the goals you have trained with until now and have acquired top skills that put you in front of the game of others.

I’m referring to vision and strategy: working smart for the right reasons can help you identify the 20% that bring the 80%. Now, your goals have to be daring, bold to make you control the autonomy and true independence that will make a dent and leave your name in the history. Only after you have tested and followed the whole system inside out, you can replicate it for profit at a higher scale. Take into account all the lessons, all the motivations, take a calculated risk and “shoot for the moon”! Do it again and again, be the best and work smart to stay there! You truly deserve to celebrate especially when you bring this achievement to reality after pragmatically testing options for success. Failing to do this earlier might sidetrack your efforts, take longer or bring stepbacks you can’t face on your own. Coaching is a must at this level. Modeling and mentoring also definitely works. Also, niche-specific training and skills-related training can benefit you for what you need/want here.

At this level of excellence, you also have to improve the skill of seeking, connecting and networking within groups of professionals sharing similar preoccupations, abilities and personality preferences, in order to continue to grow, learn and excel through the power of communities (see more further).

 

10. Find people who share your vision and values

Very likely, until this point of excellence, you’ve worked within teams, or in proximity or in collaboration with other people in your life experience. At a certain point, you decide to let go of unfulfilled expectations, go with the flow and get social, not only for business networking, but as well for deeper human connection.

Of course, it’s not about connecting with people who have been put there by someone else or by random design (like in school or in a company where you were hired). It’s about connecting with people you can actually test and recognize as having approximately similar values, visions and experiences.

After each of you have had your successful experiences, you can get together to share your wisdom, learn one from the other and create a win-win-win community. Trying to do so earlier implies the risks of having your good intentions work for somebody else’s individual limited benefit, or mistaking you illusions/expectations for reality, or mistaking a functioning system for a community.

You can prepare for this step by joining and working with/for people who have a track record of creating both individual success based on strategy and team success bases on collaboration. Volunteering for a cause you cherish can also be helpful in opening up new horizons of harmony in the human experience. Just find some people who are already doing or thinking what you like and give them a hand! Other ideas: personal development thematic groups, periodical skills-based training within a community.

In order to fully enjoy this level of development, it is necessary to develop close personal and professional relationships with others. In these instances, it must be OK to share warmth, caring, attention, empathy, protection (strength, guidance, direction), disclosure and listening. Why? For the purpose of creating a harmonic team that works for everyone, which can bring consensual guiding for each interested, for long term. This is what deep social interaction can mean when people live and act for the causes they share.

 

11. Learn more outside of your area of expertise

Hopefully, there come a time when, after years and years, you can not only be the best in your niche, but you can do it quite effortlessly, even in your sleep. This is the moment to continue developing your other talents. Learn something new. Get deeper knowledge of your field. Get a new hobby. Enjoy a healthy life. If you feel bored or that it’s time for a big change, consider developing skills for a different field you might be talented in.

This time, integrate all the resources (time, money, people you know, all that you studied) to make the most out of the new learning. In the beginning, it may be a little hard to get used to make more effort to succeed at something (because everything is so easy when you’re an expert), but the more you learned, the easiest it is to learn more, because of the many synapses that are already there and in function.

This step should allow you to find more peace within yourself, without control in the group or of the resources. You may reinvent yourself and succeed in ways you wouldn’t have dreamed of being possible. This can be a great period if associated with having children and becoming a parent, or a grandparent. You can only truly live at this level if you have made profit out of your strategy, you have developed functioning networks of authentic communication with peers and are able to see the bigger picture.

The few experts who can work at this level have the ability to work intuitively with large chunks of information to find patterns, may they be in vocational, professional, personal or recreational areas.

If you decide to succeed in a second or third field later in life, after having success in just one or two professional fields, it will be faster for you. The learning must be tailored to your needs. Please feel free to use consulting, coaching, mentoring, modeling and especially training. If you have truly reached this level, you already know how important that is and how to use such services.

 

12. Redefine the purpose of your life as having a higher meaning

At some moment, each of us searches and sometimes finds the meaning of life. There are plenty of answers, but usually people find a religious meaning, which is connected with having an impact beyond the material world.

Of course, at several points in your existence, the meaning of life can be defined as chasing or living your dreams, to seek happiness, to discover and better oneself, becoming the best achievable self. Seeking the wisdom, you will probably redefine the levels at which you can make a contribution, both personally and professionally. But, at a very special moment, preferably before you die, you may allow yourself to truly let go of roles, duties and social expectations.

This is how you can tend to touch perfection through living, only to become aware of how little you know. That’s why your contribution has to stay with the others after you die. A life worth living is a life that you would find hard to leave from or give up. The true inner benefit of others, making the difference through what you do, say and inspire, is what starts guiding your intentions.

You know you can do better and you are grateful for the chance to act justly and wise, love and give unconditionally. Reaching this, you have found the beauty and the sorrow in your life: you have now started to get the hugeness of the human spirit, the bearing on your deeds and the shortness of life. It’s worth talking about this with a priest. I have personally found the meaning of life in Orthodox Christianity. I have the rest of my life to live it by rediscovering it in my existence, though applying what I have found.

 

Some final thoughts

I haven’t done all of these steps in this order, but at least now I found the tools that can connect them logically, structurally and scientifically. There is a moment in some lives when everything comes to a circle. You get the final piece of the puzzle, although I’m afraid most people don’t really live this sensation.

Now I am ready for rebooting my journey, faster and together with those who want to experience what I’ve written about here. Often times, when we are confronted with a problem, we don’t quite know what’s the map of that problem, what are its roots and especially, what might be the solutions. Although I don’t have solutions in consulting, theories in learning and questions in coaching for all the possible problems, it’s very likely I know where you are and how to support you to get not only where you want to go, but where you need to go. Blow away your inner obstacles and become who you were meant to be!

I am doing this because I am here to serve you, not to please you. Now you know the truth. Act on it! Change your life now! Follow the steps I have set for you in this article and become part of my life journey! Let’s put some wind in your sails!

 

PS: Thanks to Corina Andreea Popa for the practical suggestions and feed-back on this article before publishing.

Ștefan Alexandrescu

professional development consultant, trainer and coach

0040 729 034 883

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How to Live a Perfect Life, part III. Steps 5-8 Out of 12, In the Right Order

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 17/11/2016

I started writing last month a new series of articles, out of which I am now publishing part 3 of 4. You may read part I here. and part II here.

 

5. Prioritize in working with the appropriate limits.

If you have a problem, put to practice the opposite (go to goal). If you have too little options, get creative. If you have too many, reduce them. If you get overwhelmed, get some distance. Find the cause and get a right tool to move on! Still, in stead of getting the appropriate internal and external resources, some people self-sabotage themselves in starting with the easiest or the toughest thing, mislabeling the importance or the urgency of some issues. Thus, they manage to overwhelm themselves and get stuck.This can be done with the positive intention of feeling good for accomplishing some work, but this intention can be better served by learning to chunk the learning and the changing work in appropriate milestones for each.

Rome wasn’t built in a day, healing can’t be done in a session, brilliance doesn’t come over night and genius doesn’t (usually) knock on your door. Learn to take what you have/want to do step by step, bit by bit and learn how to plan and evaluate what you’ve done by establishing training and development goals. This is the kind of inner work that will later bring great external results that show in time and last. Some people might notice your efforts. Most might not. But you are doing it for yourself. If you can’t manage in prioritizing, get at least 1-2 sessions from a consultant, coach or career counselor. It saves you at least 10 times the money you pay for it. The keys here are balance and comparing oneself with the own better version, not others. Different people have different limits and they shouldn’t be (too harshly) punished for it.

 

6. Express yourself through your talent(s) in the appropriate environment.

Let’s say you discovered your weak and strong points (like I’ve written here), you worked on some of the major issues and had some experiences working through homework, projects, trials and volunteering putting to practice what you’ve efficiently learned theoretically. This is the moment when you may choose whether you start working for non-profit, get hired, freelance, create a business as an entrepreneur or invest, and in what precisely.

It is appropriate in this stage to find the right place for yourself inside an existing system, that you will learn for a few years inside out. This is your road of taking the chance to become a specialist: the right person in the right place. If you want a job, you have to search for a right one, to prepare for it, to hunt it and to give it your best shot, in the best organization you possibly can.

Your chances can be highly influenced by what you accomplished in the previous steps and sometimes that doesn’t matter at all. What matters here is to get, besides the job content-related skills, also the labor market general skills (such as personal branding, time management, copywriting), the technological skills (software and hardware) and the right procedures to integrate your work with already functioning procedures, procedures, standards and criteria.

You have to accept you have limited control over a system you’re learning and that you have to go through all (or most) of it before trying to change it. First, you accept, then you can work with what you’ve got and make the best of it. If you are able to put first your long term goals even if it means being payed less, that might well be on your path to professional success and personal fulfillment. Even if you get started as a freelancer or an entrepreneur, you have to use the system you learned to get recognition, experience and the beginning in your success. Here you need mentoring, modeling, coaching, or consulting. Labor market skills specifically related training also can make a great difference.

This is the time to explore, express, drive and develop your own unconscious resources and structures in directions, fields, positions, roles through appreciated differentiation, testing and respecting boundaries between self and others. Allow yourself now to quest for abundance through scalability and strategically develop performance in competition with similar and special other individuals. Each person has talents. May each of them work best at what they wisely choose!

 

 

7. Get resources and make choices to increase your freedom

We are almost halfway on this road of personal and professional development and fulfillment. Right about now, many people stumble and try to compensate what they didn’t have earlier in life. This is a “perfect” time to make life-ruining decisions by getting into debt, choosing the wrong life partner, wasting time indulging in distractions, buying useless toys or spending more than you can make. Usually, the material success comes after years of trials and errors, hard work of making the best of your opportunities. In the beginning, it might not be as you expected, and you career might not be on the straight-up arrow you hoped (hallucinated). But the success is closer than you think.

If at this point you stay satisfied by earning a fixed income no matter how much you work and don’t save much, chances are you won’t ever break out of this financial vicious circle. Of course, one of the labor market related skills I was writing about in the previous points is financial intelligence (that is, if you haven’t learned it until college). Getting resources means making more than you spend, saving up or investing the difference, so that you have profit, not debt. Based on your choices, you can increase, maintain or decrease your freedom. In this step, increasing financial intelligence through personal study, consulting and training or even coaching definitely counts. This is an appropriate moment to get aware that you can’t do everything and delegate what you can afford and don’t know too well/like too much. You may also use this tool.

 

8. Let live and let go. Forgive yourself and others.

You’re not perfect. If you’ve gone through years of study and practice, it’s likely that you’ve had your failures and successes, hopefully more successes. But you have been confronting your limits, and you know each person has them. Now, after gearing yourself in the right field, the right place, the right tools, the right environment, forget about how you were affected by what didn’t work and keep just the good things and the knowledge from the previous failures, especially those which you might initially blame on others.

Now you are responsible for what happens in your life, meaning that you have the power to change. You can be a compassionate, level-headed adult. So forgive others who didn’t have your resources, your vision, your “map”. Now you do and you deserve to be a model. You know you are responsible to improve yourself, just like others are for themselves.

This might be a good moment, if you haven’t, until now, to cut some bad ties and to heal some old ones, given that it’s possible. You can’t change the past and you can’t change others. The others are responsible for themselves.You are responsible for yourself. Ask forgiveness from those you have wronged.

You may be free to decide who to become and where to go from now on. Learn to love the ones who have hurt you and separate their behavior from their identities once and for all. Your heart is full. They can’t hurt you anymore. If you have trouble with that, get some help from a psychotherapist or a very good NLP practitioner. If it helps you, write about your emotions. Express yourself authentically while becoming a better version of yourself. It’s also helpful to create a gratefulness list (to which people do you thank and why).

 

 

Your road continues from here. Read on next week!

PS: Thanks to Corina Andreea Popa for the practical suggestions and feed-back on this article before publishing.

Ștefan Alexandrescu

professional development consultant, trainer and coach

0040 729 034 883

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How to Live a Perfect Life, part II. The First 4 Out of 12 Steps, In the Right Order

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 13/11/2016


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I started writing last week a new series of articles, out of which I am now publishing part 2 of 4. You may read part I here.

 

  1. Know yourself.

I know this kind of advice, “know thyself”, is very vague as for some people it might mean meditation, traveling around the Earth or reading the horoscope. What I refer to is none of these, but actually abandoning the idea that you are a victim and get strategic, actionable intelligence about how your mind works and, even better, how other people’s minds work. This can be done through work which can be expensive, in time and money, and you won’t like all that you find. It involves completing extensive personality questionnaires, getting payed interpretations from experts about what are your weak and strong points, your downfalls and your talents and reading specialty books about how these work and how to use the information to find your path.

In my life experience and in working with clients, one’s dealing with own self after 360 degrees evaluations and/or psychometric evaluations is usually emotionally consuming, but priceless, because it helps you make major decisions such as in what country/city to work, what to study and what career to choose. Not knowing yourself or delaying this moment means thousands of hours possibly lost doing something you don’t like, or you’re not good at, or not worth your resources.

There are some people who say “nobody can tell you who you are” and “life experience is best” because “we all have our own lives”. In my opinion, such perspectives may be related to the fact that these people most often don’t like to know the truth, weren’t taught to learn or have had a lot of criticism around the paths to be chosen and want to make their own point in order to grow. This is also a path, one which can build character (the best case), waste a lot of time and opportunities for development and disrespect the objectivity, professionalism and life experience of HR profilers. Usually, the parents should be preoccupied during the education of the kids of which would be their strengths and talents, but if they aren’t, the children must be able to trust some sort of authority for career guidance in life.

 

 

  1. Learn to learn.

There are differences between growing up, education and animals’ training, but somehow all these get messed up and mixed up in the process known as “school”. It happens right around the period of time when real learning should happen, preferably through modeling and best through modeling for practical learning and efficient theoretical learning by speed reading, memory techniques and concentration. Also, lately, in the past decade and even more in the following, most of the learning, modeling and concentration abilities of kids will vanish before highschool.

Of course, you can learn these also later in life, but until then, there is the guarantee that you will get frustrated or traumatized through what is called “formal education”, lose considerable amount of resources (especially time and money) in bad decisions, inefficient work and limited liberties. I have always considered learning how to learn as the fundamental basis of personal development.

During this period of life, children (or adolescents) should have a balance between their psychological needs for learning, exploration, development and modeling, and their other emotional needs. For example, they must have freedom to express themselves and play even while making some mistakes without being overly criticized. Learning to learn after highschool usually opens up the door to emotional, sensitive traumas connected to inefficient education within family and/or school system. From my experience, the people who weren’t taught to love to learn and/or who were very traumatized by caretakers, teachers, professors or colleagues don’t even want to read and out it goes for the rest of their lives the concept of “personal development”.



 

  1. Learn to change, starting with what stops you.

This is another seemingly counter-intuitive step, as opposed to concentrating first on your qualities and dismissing your weak points. But now, there have been developed and discovered countless techniques and approaches in psychotherapy and personal development areas (such as schema therapy, transactional analysis, coaching and NLP) that you can find resources to deal with your problems, no matter how serious they may be. Chances are that if you’re young, your life is not perfect and you’ve had traumas, limiting beliefs, no matter how great the education received in the family was. The longer you waste time avoiding them, not solving them or fighting with what you don’t like, the harder it will be for you when you fall from the success you try to build for yourself on a house of sand.

If you develop, let’s say (a mere example), your professional abilities but neglect family issues, your performance will at a certain point become limited because of the lessons not learned at the right moment and you will have to go back to a certain level of development in order to truly accept yourself, unconditionally, with all the terrible issues you’ve been through. The more you prolong this waiting, the more chances are you might lose at least some of what you build on faulty bases. After you know yourself, you have to accept yourself, and then decide what to change, and in what order. This is capital. There is no way around that. Based on how the serious your problems are, you might need the help of a psychiatrist, or a psychotherapist, or a psychological counselor. In other, more mild cases, a coach or a personal development consultant can suffice. You can consult with a Mental Health Facilitator to decide. Dismissing this under the rug increases the chances of developing a mental disease later in life.

The parents which want to facilitate their children’s access to change must give them examples of balancing different aspects, contexts and needs in life, such as that between work and play, between their own needs and others’ needs, between internal and external beauty, between exploring and expressing their inner world and listening and knowing the outer world. This is very difficult and can’t always be obtained because no parent is perfect, but whatever you want to inspire in the direction of personal positive change, must be lived as an appropriate example.



 

  1. Cultivate your potential through learning and practice.

Most people develop through facing problems, getting kicked in the behind. But the ones who outlive the previous step know the value of orienting oneself towards goals. While or after changing key aspects of your issues, it is worth to get specific training appropriate for your natural talents, inclinations and gifts. Getting the psychometric evaluations before college helps you choose a right career and prepare for a University which will help you excel. The next step is to study on your own the theories which will help you be a good practitioner and exercise in order to train your skills and get experience. Knowing yourself also enables you to choose an appropriate job, at the right place in an organization or to choose a niche for your business as a freelancer or entrepreneur. It is worth investing somewhere between at least 10.000-100.000 $/ for your formal + informal education in the right field for your talents (I am only referring to University+master period).

Not knowing yourself before studying means risking the same amount or (most likely) more and years of your youth doing something you won’t practice so well later, leading to disappointment, mediocrity and sometimes big failure. Also, not solving your main inner challenges before or in the time that you’re dedicating cultivating your potential means you will be as strong as your weakest link (which will definitely break sooner or later). Also, as an alternative or a complementary to training, you can now learn by reading, watching video seminars, participating in webinars and especially getting customized consulting, coaching or mentoring from specialists in the niches you want to model in.

The people who only rely on faculty and job training will be soon replaced by robots and immigrant labor force in this century. They might also be aware of this too late when it may be to expensive to really change something. I am confronted with this when I talk to people in their 30s or 40s who realize they have chosen a wrong career and they try hard to perform in a job they hate and they want all the results really fast, like I would be supposed to do in a few sessions what they haven’t done in self-knowledge, learning and practice all of their lives. Progresses can be made at any age, but harder and with bigger costs (especially time and money) and sacrifices (especially for those who have families).



 

PS: Thanks to Corina Andreea Popa for the practical suggestions and feed-back on this article before publishing.

Ștefan Alexandrescu

professional development consultant, trainer and coach

0040 729 034 883

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Procedure for Changing Metaprograms

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 20/07/2011

Changing Meta Programs

(http://www.nlpls.com/articles/metaPrograms.php)

STEP 1:  Identify the Meta Program you wish to change.

a. Specifically identify and fully describe when, where and with whom you are using it that does not serve you well.

b. Specifically identify and fully describe how it does not serve you well.

STEP 2:  Describe fully the Meta Program you would prefer.

a. Specifically identify and fully describe when, where and with whom you would like this new Meta Program to govern your perceptions, awareness and consciousness.

b. Specifically identify and fully describe how it will server you better.

STEP 3:  Try it on.

a. Physically change your location to another chair or standing spot.

b. Imagine adopting the new Meta Program in a fully associated way.

c. Pretend to use it, sorting, perceiving, attending, thinking, feeling, etc.

d. Notice how it feels, how things look, how it seems, what thoughts occur to you. Feel free to walk around with it a bit if you like, experiencing what it would be like to use this new Meta Program. Expect that it might seem a little strange at first because it is new and unfamiliar. Notice what other feelings besides discomfort arise with it.

e. Imagine some specific contexts where you think this Meta Program will serve you better.

STEP 4:  First Ecology Check

a. Step Out of the ‘try on’ experience and move to a new location, leaving it behind.

b. In this new location, adopt the state of mind of an detached but interested observer who can review, from a distance, the ‘try on’ experience you just had.

c. Check it out. What occurs to you right away?

d. Check it out from a standpoint of the low to mid neurological levels. That is, what will this new Meta program do for you in terms of perceiving, behaving, capabilities, beliefs and values.

e. Check it out at the identity level. What “kind of person” would it begin to make you?

f. Check out its broader effects. What effects would it have on the rest of your life and other people?

g. What effects would it have on your spirituality?

STEP 5:  Second Ecology Check

a. Move back to the original physical location — where you were when you were doing steps 1 and 2.

b. Go inside yourself and respectfully submit this question to your entire inner being and all your parts: “Does any part of me have any objection to making this change, or to making this change in this way?”

c. Allow yourself to be still and quiet for a few minutes as you openly wait for any new thoughts or objections to make themselves known to you.

d. If there are any objections, acknowledge them and say an internal “Thank you” for the communication. Make a note of them and continue.

e. Specifically identify how, when, where and with whom the old Meta Program served you in some positive way(s). What secondary gains does it provide that will be important to preserve?

f. How will you preserve them?

STEP 6:  Take Care of Ecology

a. Address any conflicts, objections or incongruities. Use any other NLP processes that may be useful and appropriate, such as reframing or redefining, so that all objections are taken care of and you have resolved the old emotions, thoughts, beliefs, decisions, etc.

b. If you have difficulty addressing any of these incongruities, if any are persistent or difficult to resolve, Stop Here — for now. You can return to this process after they have been thoroughly addressed. Consider exploring other NLP processes to address them in different ways. If you can use help with this, make arrangements to consult with a professional NLP practitioner until they are resolved.

c. When you’re “good to go” and all of your systems give you the green light, continue.

STEP 7:  Permission

a. Give yourself permission to install the new Meta Program for a specific period of time. This can be anywhere from several hours, to several days, to a week or two.

b. Make the internal agreement that at the end of that time, you can decide to keep the new Meta Program, extend it for a longer trial period, or switch back to the old one.

c. At this point in the process, a person can install a new Meta Program simply by giving permission to use it.

d. To strengthen it, move back to the physical location you used during the “Try it on” process (Step 3), and “map it across” to your original physical location. This is done by fully associating back into the “Try it on” state, getting the full sense of it again, then making internal arrangements to create a mental symbol or a few words which will represent the experience. Then walk the symbol or words over to your original position and take a few moments to accept and integrate the symbol or words into your consciousness. Allow it to “self-organize” in its own way, and allow yourself to experience the new Meta Program again.

STEP 8:  Final Ecology Check

a. Go inside and check to make sure all is well and you are excited and looking forward to using this new Meta Program for the time period you have specified.

b. If any last minute ecology issues arise, temporarily put a ‘hold’ on your permission, walk the symbol or words back to the “Try it on” location, leave them there, and return to your original position and state. Then go back to Step 6.

c. When all is well and you are “good to go,” continue.

STEP 9:  Future Pace

a. Practice, in your imagination, using the Meta Program in as many future contexts as you like, until it feels comfortable and familiar.

b. Return to the present and enjoy your new Meta Program!

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Meta Modalities

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 18/07/2011

This is Meta to all NLP patterns. It is also a pattern of influence and transformation for everything we do.

ASSOCIATE –The step that often gets skipped is the first one. In other words you have to first associate them intensely enough to the problem to get all the neural networks lit up, so the later work gets attached to what the problem was. If not, the work may get attached to something else that it does not need to be attached to. We have to find out what the problem is. What do we say or do to get a strong association to it? What is it? What is the problem? Get them into the problem. See what they look like when they are in the problem, in it’s here and now. What are all the possible questions, just by them considering the question, I can ask a person that will assist them in associating to the problem without them having to say anything to me? You look at them, calibrating until you get them associated. Take a snapshot.

 

DISSOCIATE – Most problems are heavily associated and we can’t dissociate on our own. What do we need to say or do to get them to dissociate and discover resources? Get them into a resource state by going for what is NOT the problem. Go for what is NOT the problem. Basically, relative to what isn’t is moving them up towards resources. Stepping out of the problem gets them unstuck for a while. Observe them. See what they look like. Calibrate. When they are in a good state, chunk-down Meta Model style deeper into the good state. Anchor.

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The Psychometric Measurement of the Self-Esteem by Ştefan Alexandrescu

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 23/06/2011

Scientific abstract

This dissertation paper is comprised of: (a) An analytical and critical approach of the following concepts specific to the psychology of the personality: Self-Esteem Level (SEL), Self-Esteem Stability (SES), Self-Confidence (SC), respect, Self-Respect (SR), ego, narcissism, Frame Of Reference (FOR), ego strenght, pride, character, risk taking, thinking scenario (TS), motivation direction – in the purpose of structuring and differentiating between them – and (b) A research conducted using a psychometric quantitative multidimensional questionnaire, a qualitative inquiry and graphological analysis.

The concepts used in this work come from six areas: Psychology of personality (either for individual, educational or organizational use), psychotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), graphological analysis, transactional analysis (specifically the dramatic triangle comprised within the Karpmann formula) and coaching.

The fields which to which this research has implications or to which it may provide potential insight are: Psychology of personality, organizational psychology, NLP, graphological analysis, methodological research design, life coaching, transactional analysis and psychotherapy.

The main findings of this dissertation, argued by both the meta-analysis and research sections:

  • Self-Esteem (SE) has two different, separate, independent components, which produce different effects:Self-Esteem Level and Self-Esteem Stability. Although neither the previous or the current research clearly establishes a definite structure for any of these, the disseration study correlates in findings to previous approaches and argues based on data the differences proposed as hypothesis;

  • Self-Esteem is a complex, heterogenous psychological metatype, comprised of several concepts, which cannot be simply explained by two or three dimensions easy to describe. It is a metatype, not a metaprogram (MP);

  • Self-Respect and Self-Esteem are categorically separate, individual and independent concepts;

  • Self-Esteem differs from Self-Confidence, although it is not clear whether Self-Confidenceis a part of Self-Esteem (as some sources and own research data seems to indicate) or it is an independent standing concept, in the manner Self-Respect is to Self-Esteem;

  • Narcissism and ego are not dimensions underlining the high Self-Esteem, they are individual different concepts, which rather correlate either with low Self-Esteem or with unstable Self-Esteem, may they manifest as complexes of superiority or as complexes of inferiority;

  • Self-Esteem is a concept rather different from ego strenght and character;

  • Important, fundamental components of Self-Esteem Level are: TS and the degree of goal management;

  • Self-Esteem Level and Self-Esteem Stability can be measured graphologically;

  • Self-Respect is a concept related to respect, in connection with others. It is not clear yet, from the data available, either from previous or current research, which are the definite characteristics of the concepts, relations, but based on concept investigating and on data provided by current research, one cannot investigate self-respect without measuring the relationships each individual has with others;

  • A fundamental behavioral aspect about Self-Esteem is the response to external stimuli, such as: challenge, failure, conflict, distress and violence, either verbally of physically, including especially bullying;

  • Assertiveness plays a major role in correlation with either Self-Esteem Stability or Self-Respect (at the moment unclear, because obtained data does not correlate with theory and previous research in this aspect);

  • The qualitative and quantitative research offer similar findings. The external validitity for this study is not solid, but acceptable;

  • There are conceptual and research findings which support clear directions for future research.

Th e questionnaire development started 2007. The practical research has been applied in 2009-2010 in a population of pupils in the 12th grade in Bucharest highschools (N=123), aged 17-19, taking into consideration the construction of a psychometric scientifically valid instrument for measuring Self-Esteem, using both quantitative and qualitative methods. While the quantitative part has been structured starting from a work of psychotherapists, not researchers, the results have proven to be consistent with similar data findings among previous works.

Key Concepts in this disseration:acceptance, agression, assertiveness, away from, challenge response, character, coaching, communication, competence, conditional, unconditional, depression, development, dignity,distress, dramatic triangle, ego strenght, ego, emotional self-control, external, failure, fame, feed-back, frame of reference, future, goal, graphology, gratitude, happiness, health, high self-esteem, high self-respect,independence, inferiority complex, ingratitude, internal, low self-respect,low, self-esteem,metaprogram, metatype, mistake, motivation direction, narcissism, neuro-linguistic programming, NLP, optimism, persecutor, persistence, personal branding, pessimism, portrait, pride, psychotherapy, reaction to uncertainty, respect, risk taking, saviour, self-acceptance, self-confidence, self-esteem level, self-esteem stability, self-esteem, self-knowledge, self-respect, sense of orientation, sensitiveness, stable, superiority complex, support, teens, thinking scenario, towards, trust, type, unstable, vainglory,victim, virtue, wishful thinking.

 

 

 

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