”Failure will never overwhelm me if my determination to succeed is strong enough”
When people learn something, the temptation to learn quickly is stimulated by the small successes obtained at the beginning. I have expressed the idea in a somewhat unusual manner from several points of view, to stimulate the reader’s logical mind. So, here’s what I consider that IT IS WORTH NOT DOING to BE SUCCESSFUL RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
1. Do not tell yourself “whatever I do, nothing good will come out” because thus you will get demoralized and stop trying. He who doesn’t work doesn’t make mistakes. Succeeding at first is a privilege, not a guarantee. If you want to repeat it, you need to understand what you’re doing wrong. Start with your thinking and cut off such negative thoughts.
2. Don’t think you already know that. If you manage to consider that there is something to learn, you will be able to perceive, in a new light, even a book that you have already read. We are not talking about academic curiosities here. If you tend to consider, for example, speed reading as something that falls into the same category as what you learned in school, then you won’t be motivated to learn because you will consider that you already know that.
3. You won’t feel ridiculous in the event of what you consider to be a failure. Sometimes, a failure in your eyes may be a success in the eyes of others. Ridicule is the choice to consider something inferior. Sometimes, ridicule can be justified, so learn to distinguish between what you should learn from the need of others to feel superior. In a presentation in front of thousands of people, where Steve Jobs was going to demonstrate how certain gadgets work, the camera he was about to present did not work properly. Humorously, he threw the camera to a specialist sitting in the first row and told him something like: “Handle and fix it, that’s too technical for me.” He thus turned a potentially ridiculous situation into proof of leadership.
4. Don’t consider that your standards and the standards of others are the same. More is required from an expert than from a beginner. Therefore, don’t start comparing yourself with the winners of the high-performance contests, but learn from them to shorten your way to success. To be a winner, you have to be a beginner. I wrote about it more in my book about NLP modeling.
5. Don’t believe anyone, but listen carefully and ask yourself good questions. Sometimes, those who want to learn listen to those who confirm the convictions that they already have and ignore the contents or the people who say things that challenge their vision. Thus, they may either come to believe that something is wrong only because one single person says that, or not to believe anyone anymore and do things their way. However, by choosing this, they don’t think about the long-term consequences, and for lack of logic, they don’t make the cause-effect connection.
6. Don’t think you’re special just because you are successful off the bat. What you can do is not who you are. It might be a coincidence that you have the opportunity to find out what went well and what didn’t. Success is often circumstantial and is not necessarily related to you, but to do things well for a certain reason. Discover the cause and repeat it!
7. Don’t try too hard to do things that you are not talented for. If you are not good at dancing and you have low physical intelligence, don’t expect to get it right off the bat. If you use your most developed types of intelligence, it will be easier for you to succeed when you try something in your area, even if you don’t have much knowledge. Within a family, a certain type of intelligence (for example, the physical one) can often be more valued than another (for example, the interpersonal one), through messages such as “Stop staring with the other kids and go ahead and open this jar if you can”. This has nothing to do with reality, but with the limited minds of others.
8. Don’t expect others to believe what you believe. If they did, they would no longer need to learn. The same is true for you, too. Of course, after a certain period of learning, you may come to the conclusion that not everything you thought was so, either good or real, and that everyone has the freedom to believe what they choose.
9. Don’t seek to prove anything to anyone. Self-confidence is conquered using other ways. In college, there was a female colleague that I liked and suggested to her that we go out for a cup of tea. She answered me “In the afternoon, I have an important job interview. Here’s what I’m suggesting to you: If I get it, we go out for tea. If not, we don’t “. I considered this as an opportunity to prove to her that I trust her and I accepted. In fact, I had just done a stupid thing: I had no way of knowing that the job she was interviewed for was right for her, or at least that the human resource person who was interviewing her was competent. I had nothing to prove because my acceptance did not actually mean anything. She failed the interview (I don’t know for which reasons). I never went out with her and I don’t know what happened to that colleague.
10. Don’t try to reinvent the formula before applying it. If you want to learn something, not to create something, you first need to observe the procedure. If a doctor prescribes a drug to a patient and the patient doesn’t take it as prescribed, it is the patient’s fault, not the doctor’s or the fault of the medicine. So, don’t start reinventing the wheel before having understood how it already works. I am sometimes asked if there are people for whom the effective learning techniques that I offer do not work. I answer “Yes, they don’t work for those who don’t apply them.”
11. Don’t blame the teacher/trainer, but learn to ask him for what you need differently. Discover your learning styles and select from the approx. 100 learning methods that we have available nowadays, the ones in which you choose to take responsibility for the learning process.
Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant 2017-present. Translation by Cristiana Brezeanu of the article “Ce să nu faci ca să ai succes din prima“, that was previously published in Romanian on May the 5th, 2021 on Discerne. Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant, all rights reserved.
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