Who Are You and How Do You See Yourself Through the Eyes of Others


It doesn’t matter how you see yourself; it matters how others see through you!



The image we want in the eyes of others

It is essential to take care of the image we send and follow it, to become more aware of who we are and how we are perceived, improve it, and have a better awareness of the resources and challenges worth promoting.

American businessman Brian Tracy has stated that “each of us works in sales” because we all sell ideas to each other. It’s just that, before buying an idea, one “buys” the confidence that the one who sells their idea to you knows how to sell it to you. Personal branding thus helps with more authentic communication, closer to who we are. It is an endeavor the interferes with personal development with marketing and human resources. It is much easier to use the things that define us, in reality, to communicate what most of those around us perceive that we are. It is a fundamental part of self-acceptance.


Who are you when you don’t see yourself

When I choose to express myself, to “sell” myself in a proactive manner (to actually sell my image), and phrase my own ideas, I realize that that is when I lose contact with the here and now; I lose my presence of mind.

Many people act as if they were blocked in their own worlds, in their own thoughts, so far away from what is currently going on that they survive without living, speak without communicating, look without seeing, and hear without listening. I also have this tendency, and I’d better stay away from it.

This remark of mine has been confirmed about Romanians by research performed in 2009 by Profile International in 32 Romanian corporations and presented at the International Conference of Organisational Psychology held in Bucharest: the biggest and most unimportant problem of Romanians in the organizational environment is listening (or rather the lack thereof).



Identity seems to be a function that tends to spread towards infinity: the more you approach the truth, the more time you spend getting to what appeared to be close anyway. Consequently, I have chosen to give identity two separate “definitions”: dynamic and static.

The dynamic identity is constantly changing, that identity that cannot be categorized by the people who let themselves be categorized.

Static identity lacks development. An assumed identity, without searching in perspective for that something, might even help identity through differentiation. The person with a static identity indeed indulges himself in a sea of resemblance to others, in which defining his identity by way of distinction, of differentiation from others, has no real chance professionally in the context of an economic crisis like the one between 2007-2014.

The need for acceptance is the need for continuity, of knowing the confirmation of a perpetual “I”. This perpetual “I” knows that if (s)he did something that is fundamentally uncompliant with (s)he did or thought in the past, he would go through the difficult process of re-defining. In general, contemporary society condemns such continuity discrepancies by using undesirable labeling.

Example: “Look, this man has defined himself as a right-wing politician. However, the measures he suggests are left-wing. Consequently, he is two-faced, a traitor, one who says one thing and does another “. Nobody wants to be considered as such. Undoubtedly, personal branding errors don’t spare anybody, not even if they don’t know the rules by which they play an identity card in the eyes of others.


Marcus Victor Grant

Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant 2010-present. Translation by Cristiana Brezeanu of the article “Cine eşti tu şi cum te vezi prin ochii celorlalţi?“, initially published in Romanian on May 15th, 2011 on Discerne. Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant, all rights reserved.

The materials published on this blog are covered and subject to this disclaimer.

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