I created a personal development exercise based on a similar one designed by Harry Faddis and promoted by Betty Martin (the 3 minutes exercise, based on the model the wheel of consent). I think it can be a powerful tool in creating a connection between people, as long as it is done video+audio.
In opposition to the original exercise, mine can work across the physical distance using Skype, Zoom, or other similar technologies. By the way, the original exercise is very suitable for the development of assertive communication.
My self-expression and listening exercise, as I structured it based on the “wheel of consent”, has 4 stages that I like to think I managed to sketch in the diagrams below. Please excuse my terrible drawing skills, my designer has left me :(.
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Each of the stages can be practiced between 5-10 minutes, each followed by a brief discussion about how it was for each of the 2 participants in the exercise.
There are 10 steps or 10 micro-skills in the listening practice. Each meeting focuses on one step, usually. Each of the 2 people has 5 minutes to talk (first on a topic chosen by the other person, then on a topic freely chosen) and the other listens, practicing the micro-skills at that step. Then, they change roles. Thus, going at the pace of a meeting/exercise, there are 10 meetings*4 quadrants*5 minutes + brief discussions about the process and how it worked each time. If you would be willing to try it, I’m available on Skype or Zoom, whatever you prefer.
The steps on which listening can be practiced can be broken down into 10 (steps 6-7 are linked in my vision, and the last one is summarization even if not counted), based on the article “10 Steps To Effective Listening“, by Dianne Schilling (Nov 9, 2012), which provides part of the structure for the practice.
I live in Italy, in the UTC+2 time zone. I am available through Skype or Zoom, upon scheduled appointment.
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