Research conducted in the USA indicates that the most frequently used expression by couples before getting married is “I love you”. After getting married, the most frequently used expression is “Where is the remote?”. Has it ever happened to you that you find a certain thing absolutely normal and consider that it is your own?
Well, it means that you were in your comfort zone, where nothing that would help you grow could happen to you. I have bad news for you… if you read this article and you intend to develop yourself personally or professionally, you must make a radical change…
You must get out of your comfort zone!
What does comfort bring to you, after all?
Once upon a time, there was an old man (or an old woman, if you prefer), that said to their grandchildren while lying on their deathbed: “There have always been two children in my life, who used to tell me different things. One told me to choose the safe way, which brought about the degree of comfort that many of us want. The other child urged me to take a chance, to do something new that could change my life and could raise it to a much more profound and valuable level of experience. Each time, I carefully weighed the variants and chose the safe one. Thus, I met a wonderful woman, i.e. your grandmother/grandfather, and I had a life full of beautiful memories. HOWEVER… I never dared to pay attention to that little boy/girl inside that wanted to accomplish something unexpected, something that would exceed the safety zone that I had got used to…”
And the old man/woman gave their last breath….
The truth is that in each and every one of one there is a little boy/girl that urges us to exceed our limits but it seems more comfortable to us to do what currently consumes fewer resources… But remember… do you prefer to eat an elephant in the morning or in the evening, if you know that you still have to eat it anyway?
I have heard the idea according to which hell is not for the people that God cannot forgive, but for those who cannot forgive themselves. Hell is somewhere, at a certain time, where and when it is too late to do anything. I don’t know how accurate this idea is considered to be but it seemed interesting to me.
One of the movies that excellently describes this compromise and its effects on the lives of the people that choose an inconvenient existence, is The Age of Innocence (1993), directed by Martin Scorsese. The drama of the characters is shrouded in the glamour and compromises that dry their souls out, in an existence that is consumed more and more artificially, burning with the regrets and awareness of the choices with which they had been made. I recommend you to watch this movie paying attention to the characters and details, that excellently depict the idea “could’ve, should’ve, would’ve”.
What do you do? Do you take the subway or let yourself be run over by it?
At a certain point, there was a little girl in a subway station. She had just missed the subway by a whisker and started to cry in a corner. A man approached her, asking why she was crying. The little girl answered that she just had to be on the subway.
“The one that had just left?”
“No, the one that left 5 minutes ago”
“Well, another subway passed since you have been sitting here crying. And if you continue to do so, you will miss the next one, too”
People sometimes stumble over the truth, but most often they dust themselves off and continue their trip!!!
I was with a friend on the subway, it was late at night, and I didn’t think that it would still come. At a certain time, my friend started to complain: “The subway is not going to come again, there’s no point, we are waiting here in vain”. Inspired, I replied to him: “I bet that you wouldn’t think like that if you were tied to the rail. I think you would scream like crazy for somebody to come and untie you before the subway comes!”. And my friend realized how comfortable it was to think negatively as long as he hadn’t chosen to actively get involved in what he believed.
At a certain time, a trainer asked during a course: “How many of you would be willing to attack a person?”. No hand was raised. “How many of you would be willing to attack somebody if your life depended on it?”. All hands were raised.
If for the comfort of a moment in which you have the certainty that you can save your life, you have the power to act towards and in the spirit of what you want, why wouldn’t you want to use that power to make your life more beautiful?
People with a high level of self-esteem feel challenged by new experiences and tend to exceed their limits. Each time there is the possibility to meet improved standards, they use it as an opportunity to express their own value by comparing to themselves.
What are you waiting for? Are you making up excuses for yourself?
I have some news for you: there are two types of people:
1. Those you make up excuses. People making up excuses do not achieve results.
2. Those who achieve results. People who achieve results do not make up excuses.
Which category do you belong to?
It is easy to find excuses. In case you cannot manage in this respect, I invite you to read the list “To be more creative, I am waiting…”
Which is your hole?
At a certain time, there was a man who, every day, on his way to work, left his house, closed the door behind him, and went to the gate; on his way to the gate, there was a hole, our guy didn’t see the hole and fell into it. One day, our guy went towards his house gate on his way to work. On the way in front of him, there was a hole, the guy didn’t see it and fell into it. The next day, our guy went towards the gate; on his way to work, there was a hole… One day, our guy walked towards the gate on his way to work. There was a hole, our guy saw the hole, stops and exclaimed: “Oh, look! A hole!” and avoided it. The next day, he took another way to work…
If your perception of comfort also includes a house bought using a bank loan, I recommend the following articles to you:
Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant 2007-present Translation by Cristiana Brezeanu of the article “Vrei dezvoltare? Ieși din zona de confort!“ previously published initially in Romanian in October 2014, on Economia Online. Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant, all rights reserved. Originally written in 2007. Updated in 2014.
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