10 Things That the Coaching Trainer Hasn’t Told You

Let’s say that you are the client of a renowned coaching school that has tens and hundreds of clients and its presentation blew you away. You don’t really know what to expect. You want to grow personally and give these professionals a chance to put you on the right track to success. Congratulations! Here are 10 things that you haven’t considered that you might be expecting and nobody has told you about!

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  1. Actually, coaching is not a market. It’s not even a niche. It would be right to call it a hobby. However, if we categorize it as such, we will lose you as a client and we like to think that we are doing serious business here.

  2. Practically, many of the coaching questions are the type of things that your grandma would tell you and you would also know as it is common sense, but as you are losing yourself among the things that seem important to you, you need to learn from us what you haven’t learned from your grandma. These are called “strong questions”. Please also join our next lesson!

  3. Oh, you actually wanted to become a psychologist but you haven’t had the patience to wait for 5 years to start saving the world? Come to us, it will be done in a few months!

  4. Whatever you virtually do in this activity, you are on your own. You should have known that from the start. However, it’s also good that you have found out later. This way, we have at least managed to cash some money from you. You see, all these luxurious hotel conference rooms where you can sleep in peace, cost some money!

  5. Do you want to be trained in coaching? You’re our type! You have no idea how many little hungry piranhas we have that are waiting to cash their commission from your money. Don’t you know how to find clients? It’s your business. Actually, wait a minute: if you pay a little more, you can also attend the business additional course. There you will meet people that will take your money in exchange for telling you how they manage to take other people’s money. If you still can’t succeed, you’re on your own!

  6. I’m not satisfied at all with the activity of the coaching organization that I am part of, but if it doesn’t pour, it drips. And moreover, you never know: what goes around comes around! One hand washes the other and both hold the wallet. It’s true that in our organization managers are changed like socks and leave either like a shot to their own world or with the biggest clients but we’d better not speak ill of them because walls are thin.

  7. Can you remember the time when we brought that cool coach from abroad who got his groove on in several conferences and magazines? We didn’t actually earn anything, we ran around like crazy, and in the end, we had to squeeze testimonials from you, you ungrateful fellow!

  8. Look, this is an excel file, here is a funnel, here you can find scripts to help you build your database, and this is the e-marketing module. It’s easy to find clients! Oh, you find it complicated? Too bad, our coaching school doesn’t provide technical services. Actually, for the marketing of your services, you must pay twice as much as you paid to us because from now on you will have to compete with the other idiots we have also trained.

  9. Of course, it’s super-easy to become e coach trainer. You just sign the confidentiality disclaimer, that says that you can’t tell a soul what you have heard or else we sue you, and then we’ll tell you more.

  10. We have many psychologists among us. They are tired of being humiliated being called that, so they want a new title. Actually, they could pretend to be coaches even without our certification, but since they are brainwashed with certifications, we could use some extra money since the College of Psychologists has gone haywire.

This article is a pamphlet by Marcus Victor Grant

Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant 2018-present Translation by Cristiana Brezeanu of the article “10 lucruri pe care formatorul de coaching nu ți le-a spus published initially in Romanian at 07.11.2018 on Discerne. Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant, all rights reserved

The materials on this blog are subject to this disclaimer.

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