The journey of life in my youth
In my life, I remember I missed 2 chances of telling the story of my life’s journey. Once, it was a blogging contest in which I didn’t have time to properly compete, but I promised the organizer of the contest, a well respected Romanian blogger, I will think about it and write. Another time, I was invited to tell the story of my life in a 15 minutes speech from a transgenerational perspective and I hesitated.
I now have more. I have put together everything I have learned through the study of communication sciences, economy, psychology and personal development and everything in my experience, knowledge and practice. Thus, I like to think I have discovered the solutions to living a full life, a life worth living and satisfy your values, whichever they might be.
In the end, looking upon the steps I found, I must admit it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise. Given the theoretical knowledge I had even in, let’s say, 2007, I could have written generally, this series of articles that I’m beginning today. Unfortunately, it would have been without the tools, the words and the precision I now have after working myself with these tools and with different clients, assisting them in major breakthroughs.
The limiting beliefs of others
In my ’20s, I was told quite often things like:
You claim to know things about too various fields. You have to specialize and get just a few things right.
It’s no wonder so few people buy your services: it’s hard for them to believe you actually know so much being so young.
You claim too much attention and offer too little credibility for most people to get interested.
Who do you think you are? Nobody dares to ask so many questions!
It’s not nice to criticize people in public, you’d better mind your own business ’cause you’re not perfect.
Your life is all work and no fun.
When are you going to settle down, get a job, build a family?
There’s a right time for everything
Now many of the people who told me these kind of things are either over their heads in debt, stuck, sick, depressed, alone or in a combination of these things. Somewhere along the implementation of their life beliefs, something went wrong. They don’t know what. Even I didn’t know what until recently. They tried to do the things in the wrong order and they got stuck. Some sooner, other later. Some of them have some failsafes or resources and keep on going on. Others keep on heading towards social disasters and even worse, inner disasters. Therefore, what is the correct order and why?
I am aware that for those of you who cherish options so much that you think that any procedural approach would suck the juice out of life, this might be too much of a cookie. I’m not saying that you can’t succeed in your life or in your career unless you do the following steps in this particular order. I’m just saying that you won’t be living at your full potential and you’ll likely get stuck at some point.
Of course, taking each of these steps is something you need to be rewarded for and congratulated since I reckon that the large majority of the population of Earth get none.
Program yourself for success
Human beings are born with an emotional wireframe and with talents. In order to live a rich and fulfilling life, each person must discover and develop his/her talents in order to create and to share with others. Through synergy, the people thrive.
In order to use their specific talents that make them special and develop synergy, people must respect their emotional wireframe. In order to do that, they need proper emotional education, which is supposed to be offered by parents or caretakers.
There are certain natural levels of development. Each level is appropriate for a certain period in life. In order to develop, people must experience proper working of their emotional wireframe. This new series of articles presents which are, in my opinion, some steps for development in the right order.
If (as it often happens) the parents/caretakers have provided partially improper software for using this emotional wireframe, the future adult gets stuck in emotional issues, limiting beliefs and wastes resources (especially time) in stead of developing.
What helps you get to a certain level stops you from going to the next one. In order to fully experience a certain level of development and let go of inferior levels, people need to fix maladaptive schemas (disfunctional life strategies). Such schemas are not being fixed just by replacing the software (what you think and feel), because the wireframe has also been damaged through improper use (traumas, abuses, failures). Therefore, a mixed approach implying emotional and rational techniques must be used for setting the course right. Fixing maladaptive schemas will not magically “break the spell” of the misfunctioning wireframe, but it may provide the behavioral flexibility to generate new experiences of properly using the wireframe (“powerful positive experiences”).
Obviously, using the emotional wireframe correctly leads to positive emotions and development, so evolution. Using the wireframe incorrectly leads to negative emotions and psychiatric illness, so involution.
So, if you did any of these steps until now, in no matter what order, than congratulations! If you did two of these steps, it means you have moved. If you did three steps, it means that you discovered how to walk. Did you do that in the right direction? But you have to master all 12 in order to dance and shine. Are you ready? Please take this as an exercise in thought as in November I will publish the rest of the articles from the new series „How to Live a Perfect Life”.
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Copyright (C) Ștefan Alexandrescu, October 2016