Analytic Vision

The Fight with My Dark Side, part II

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 18/05/2013

This article is a direct follow up to this one and to this one. Please read them in order to follow the logical connections. Also, at the end of this article, you have a list of recommended articles in direct connection to the present subject . 

6. Less Losing in details / Hyper-analysis

Losing myself in details with a too inefficient, stuffy style of splitting the hairs in an overlong in-depth analysis surely negatively impacted my concision. This has become an issue for me first in 2009 – which is also the year I have started the blog “Analytic Vision”. Of course, my analytic capacity is a good quality, but anything used in excess – just as it is my case with persuasion & judgement, damages my reputation. So, starting 2009, I have been constantly striving – and succeeding to decrease my over-analysis. In 2009, this perceived weakness was on the 5th position (11 points). Now, it’s on the 12th position (5,5 points). Twice as better. In the same time, my analytic capacity, as a strength, has almost the same number of points (11.5, compared to 11) as in 2009, and twice as much as in 2008. So this is a clear proof I have improved a defect, while keeping the quality of the strength.

I have succeeded this on writing shorter, more conclusion-focused articles and doing a lot of synthesis.

7. More Discounting of others

Unfortunately, on this aspect, things are not better. In stead, they are worse and have been getting worse since 2009. That is, I started by lack of adaptation to the group and bringing negative energy to the fact I am mismatching others, with lack of diplomacy, cynicism, incisiveness, radicalism, sharpness, disrespect and even disdain. Sometimes I’m rushing into others’ reality, I’m talking too loud or too fast or simply too aggressive for them, or using brutal frankness. All of these makes my integration difficult especially in Romania. I mismatch others’ expectations of what I’m supposed to do, I often have unpredictable behaviour, I say unexpected things and make surprises to other people. This is often considered as a weakness, as a thing which people simply hate about me. This was, in 2012, the 3rd negative aspect in the top, with 20 points (5 times more than in 2006).

I especially have lack of tolerance and acceptance with people who waste my time with non-sense, aberrations, stupidities, small talk and minor, passing, irrelevant details. In some of these cases, I use irony, which may be considered as malice. Of course, it is my right to select the people I’m spending my time with, but there’s no need from my part to be malicious with them. This is an aspect in my communication which deserves being corrected.

I have prejudices and I make assumptions as everyone does. Sometimes, I may not be so clear to explain how I have reached those assumptions/prejudices, but in case anyone wishes to investigate, I can argue it. Therefore, I know a lot of stuff about people, and I write and I talk about it with certitude. Some people might not like it, for different reasons.

This is an important issue for me, because one of my declarative values is respect. In 2012, after finishing the 360 degrees analysis for the 2011 evaluation of feed-backs, I have officially declared war on this weakness on my blog. I have done nothing to work on this. Therefore, the results show me this has grown in the impression of others.

8. More  formalism.

I have especially published an article on this here.

9. More Disorder

I have promised in the article from March that I’d return upon this subject.

The attribute organisation as a strength has kept its place (9th position) and its points. Disorder has gone, as a negative attribute, from the 7th position (9 points) to worse: the 5th position (11 points).

I have a messy room and a chaotic agenda. My schedule was less planned in 2012 compared to 2011. I wanted to study GTD (getting things done), but I haven’t. I wanted to buy a tablet, but I haven’t. I wanted to learn how to use software for organizing my activities, but I haven’t. It all remained at a low level, so much that people actually perceived a worsening about me.

10. Useless theories & impractical dreams

I have come to a new definition of idealism: idealism is the creativity other people see when you don’t have money to put your ideas into practice.

People have generally considered me 50% more idealist (seeing things which aren’t there) in 2012 than in 2011. That is, from the 9 th place with 6,5 points, it has been raised to the 8th position, with 8 points. Still, it is better than in 2006 and 2010. In comparison to 2011, I had bigger plans for 2012, which didn’t come true. They didn’t come true because I decided to put more energy into writing, editing, publishing – articles and books, from which I haven’t gained enough money. For example, not even now, half a year after I published “Căile persuasiunii în negociere/The Persuasion’s Ways to Negotiation”, a book I have long talked about (for example, on this Romanian blog) , I still haven’t recovered the money invested in this project (approx. 700 euros).

My perseverance in writing, even if losing money, is inexplicable financially or practically, otherwise than a long-term investment, for which I expect to see some real results only in 2013 – that means that the results will be noticed only in the 2014 evaluation.

As a general conclusion to the series of articles from this spring about my personal brand evaluation for 2012 (feed-backs collected in October-December 2012 and analysed in March-May 2013), I had 50 % rate of success in the set goals for improving weaknesses and 70% rate of success in improving strengths, which gives me a 60 % success rate, in connection to what I set as a goal. The real success rate is 68 % though, because I have also accomplished other things which weren’t my goals. I am satisfied. This is the way personal development is done step by step, year by year.

It is a process of strategic gathering feed-back, recording it, understanding it, labeling it and transform it from qualitative information to quantitative information, than analysing it, drawing conclusions and setting new goals.

If you liked this article, please also read:

4 +, 4 – (14.01.2012)

Personal Development Goals in 2012 (08.03.2012)

Cine eşti tu şi cum te vezi în oglindă (15.05.2011)

My Personal Development Goals Evaluation For 2012 (30/03/2013)

About My Excessive Formalism & the So-Called “Lack of Empathy” (12/05/2013)

The Fight with My Dark Side (15.05.2013)

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3 Responses to “The Fight with My Dark Side, part II”

  1. […] 2012. În general, sunt mulţumit de rezultate. Am elaborat în limba engleză şi aici, aici şi aici […]

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  2. […] The Fight with My Dark Side, part II […]

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  3. […] şi mulţi despre mine în cadrul evaluării la 360 de grade pe anul trecut, despre care am scris aici. La urma urmei, judecata nu este decât o manifestare a dorinţei de a ne simţi superiori, o […]

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