The Fight with “My Dark Side”, part II

This article is a direct follow-up to this one and to this one. Therefore, please read them to follow the logical connections. Also, at the end of this article, you have a list of recommended articles directly connecting to the present subject. 


6. Less Losing in details / Hyper-analysis

Losing myself in detail with a too-inefficient, stuffy style of splitting the hairs in an overlong in-depth analysis negatively impacted my concision. This became an issue for me in 2009 when I started the “Analytic Vision” blog. Of course, my analytic capacity is good quality, but anything used in excess – just as is my case with persuasion & judgment, damages my reputation. So, starting in 2009, I have constantly been striving – and succeeding to decrease my over-analysis. In 2009, this perceived weakness was in the 5th position (11 points). Now, it’s in the 12th position (5,5 points). Twice as better. At the same time, my analytic capacity, as a strength, has almost the same number of points (11.5, compared to 11) as in 2009 and twice as much as in 2008. So this is clear proof I have improved a defect while keeping the quality of the strength.

I have succeeded in writing shorter, more conclusion-focused articles and doing a lot of syntheses.


7. More Discounting of others

Unfortunately, in this aspect, things are not better. Instead, they are worse and have been getting worse since 2009. That is, I started with a lack of adaptation to the group. I brought negative energy to the fact I am mismatching others with a lack of diplomacy, cynicism, incisiveness, radicalism, sharpness, disrespect, and even disdain. Sometimes I’m rushing into others’ reality; I’m talking too loud or fast or simply too aggressively for them or using brutal frankness. All of these make my integration difficult, especially in Romania. I mismatch others’ expectations of what I’m supposed to do, I often have unpredictable behavior, and I say unexpected things and make surprise other people. This is often considered a weakness, a thing that people simply hate about me. This was, in 2012, the 3rd negative aspect at the top, with 20 points (5 times more than in 2006).

I especially have a lack of tolerance and acceptance for people who waste my time with nonsense, aberrations, stupidities, small talk, and minor, passing, irrelevant details. In some of these cases, I use irony, which may be considered malice. Of course, it is my right to select the people I’m spending my time with, but there’s no need on my part to be malicious with them. This is an aspect of my communication that deserves to be corrected.

I have prejudices, and I make assumptions as everyone does. Sometimes, I may not be clear enough to explain how I have reached those assumptions/prejudices, but if anyone wishes to investigate, I can argue it. Therefore, I know a lot of stuff about people, and I write, and I talk about it with certitude. But, of course, some people might not like it for different reasons.

This is an essential issue because respect is one of my declarative values. In 2012, after finishing the 360 degrees analysis for the 2011 evaluation of feedback, I officially declared war on this weakness on my blog. I have done nothing to work on this. Therefore, the results show me this has grown in the impression of others.


8. More formalism.

I have especially published an article on this here.


9. More Disorder

I promised in the article from March that I’d return to this subject.

The attribute organization as a strength has kept its place (9th position) and its points. The dOn the other hand, the disorder has gone, as a negative attribute, from the 7th position (9 points) to worse: the 5th position (11 points).

I have a messy room and a chaotic agenda. My schedule was less planned in 2012 compared to 2011. I wanted to study GTD (getting things done), but I haven’t. I wanted to buy a tablet, but I haven’t. I wanted to learn how to use software for organizing my activities, but I haven’t. It all remained low, so much so that people perceived a worsening about me.


10. Useless theories & impractical dreams

I have come to a new definition of idealism: idealism is the creativity other people see when you don’t have the money to put your ideas into practice.

People have generally considered me 50% more idealist (seeing things that aren’t there) in 2012 than in 2011. That is, from the 9th place with 6,5 points, it has been raised to the 8th, with 8 points. Still, it is better than in 2006 and 2010. Compared to 2011, I had bigger plans for 2012, which didn’t come true. They didn’t come true because I decided to put more energy into writing, editing, and publishing – articles and books, from which I haven’t gained enough money. For example, not even now, half a year after I published “Căile persuasiunii în negociere/The Persuasion’s Ways to Negotiation”, a book I have long talked about on television and in Romanian interviews, I still haven’t recovered the money invested in this project (approx. 700 euros by now).

As a general conclusion to the series of articles from this spring about my personal brand evaluation for 2012 (feedback collected in October-December 2012 and analyzed in March-May 2013), I had a 50 % rate of success in the set goals for improving weaknesses and 70% rate of success in enhancing strengths, which gives me a 60 % success rate, in connection to what I set as a goal. The real success rate is 68 %, though, because I have also accomplished other things which weren’t my goals. I am satisfied. This is how personal development is done step by step, year by year.

It is a process of strategically gathering feedback, recording it, understanding it, labeling it, and transforming it from qualitative information to quantitative information, then analyzing it, drawing conclusions, and setting new goals.

If you liked this article, please also read the following:

4 +, 4 – (14.01.2012)

Personal Development Goals in 2012 (08.03.2012)

Cine eşti tu şi cum te vezi prin ochii celorlalți (15.05.2011)

My Personal Development Goals Evaluation For 2012 (30/03/2013)

About My Excessive Formalism & the So-Called “Lack of Empathy” (12/05/2013)

The Fight with My Dark Side (15.05.2013)

Marcus Victor Grant

Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant, 2013-present

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