Analytic Vision

DOs and DON’Ts about Fear and Apprehension

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 25/06/2011

FEAR (about known things: frică) / APPREHENSION (about unknown things: teamă)

DO:

  • Source for a protective environment;
  • The existence of a secure base is important. The basic need during fear is protection.
  • Reason, search for information, escape contamination.

DO NOT:

  • Discount/ignore this emotion;
  • Sabotage yourself by searching for a group which will confirm your fear;
  • Minimalize/maximize fear (get your inner Adult to verify reality by asking questions);
  • Transform fear into another emotion.Emotions are energy.They are like communicating vessels.
  • Cover one emotion with another just because you are not used to it.

General rules:
Before saying „you”, say „I” 3 times, because many troubles start with the wrong verbalization beginning with the second person;
Because emotions have to do with needs, this is not about emotions, but about conflicts between needs.
“Fear, as opposed to anxiety, has a definite object (as most authors agree), which can be faced, analyzed, attacked, endured. One can act upon it, and in acting upon it participate in it—even if in the form of struggle. In this way one can take it into one’s self-affirmation. Courage can meet every object of fear, because it is an object and makes participation possible. Courage can take the fear produced by a definite object into itself, because this object, however frightful it may be, has a side with which it participates in us and we in it. One could say that as long as there is an object of fear, love in the sense of participation can conquer fear. But this is not so with anxiety, because anxiety has no object, or rather, in a paradoxical phrase, its object is the negation of every object. Therefore participation, struggle, and love with respect to it are impossible. He who is in anxiety is, insofar as it is mere anxiety, delivered to it without help.”

 

Paul Tillich

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