Analytic Vision

What Do Your Questions Say About Yourself?

Posted by Ştefan Alexandrescu on 22/01/2010

 

In a public situation, or even in a private business meeting, the questions you put don’t only offer you information, but also serve as a business card, if you know how to use it. Of course, if you use it ONLY as a business card… you know what people do with them mostly… they throw them away. Still, it’ better to have a nice business card then none at all, isn’t it?

So these are a few questions to ask yourself before putting questions in a professional environment:

1. Do I really have anything valuable to get as an answer in this context?

For example, in a presentation in which people listen for information, structure is required. If you have anything to add, is it appropriate for the structure designed by the speaker?

2. Would anybody else care about knowing the answer to this question?

If not, better send it in private or later. Or else, what you ask will say a lot about what only you care about.

3. Is it the appropriate moment to say this? Is it my turn to speak?

Most people are in their own internal dialogue, too busy to notice weather there is any place for someone else’s dialogue. Some people live the most part of their lives in their internal dialogue, without having a real communication to the outside world. There are, still, some moments, when they are receptive. Are you receptive enough to get them? Are you paying enough attention to the information you’re already receiving?

I was kind of humored when at a formation, the trainer established as a rule that only the person holding the pink elephant (there was a toy around there) has the right to speak. Get the right to speak, than ask your question. You’re not a politician, this is business.

4. Would it be too much to ask this?

If there might be something more important to ask later, I might be sorry to have got this question out now.

And, to share an experience I had putting a question at a project managament class, a colleague turned to me and said: “I don’t even know what you’ve asked, but it sounded so good, it didn’t even really matter anymore.”. I was also glad that wasn’t the answer I got from the expert holding that class, but just a feed-back from someone, but it suraly was nice :)

Consider the questions you put  answer the other people’s questions about yourself. What do you say about yourself when putting questions? How do your questions define your personal brand?

Consider the person and the situation as they are, not as you want them to behave or to be. Forget about expectations. Do you really need an answer? What would you answer if the question would be put to you?

5. Am I being challenged, provoked or unnerved? What’s my state?

If so, keep the idea, leave the state and ask the question later. No need to elaborate on the disasters provoked by such temptations… Your state might influence the answer you get and besides, get you bad publicity.

6. Is this the right place & audience to say this?

Caragiale, the great playwriter, talking to Eminescu, the great poet, once contradicted himself in a conversation, stating the opposit idea of the previous in just 15 minutes. Asked by Eminescu why, Caragiale answered: “15 minutes ago there were other people behind the stairs listening”.

Will the other people hearing understand the same thing as the speaker? If not, phrase well.

7. If it’s a critic, can it be constructive? Can I make it a playful challenge to respect the speaker?

A speaker, especially when in an audience, has the authority. He’s the one people listen to. It’s challenging to question such a formal authority without seeming “the bad guy”?

A lot of inappropriate (not to say dumb) questions are asked because people don’t put these questions to themselvesbefore putting their questions.

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7 Responses to “What Do Your Questions Say About Yourself?”

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  2. Great posting. These questions should be up in every corporation’s meeting room.

    Like

  3. […] articole What do your questions say about yourself? (I)Film classes videosMy professional values and their limitsWhat's important in lifeAbout Success […]

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  4. […] What do your questions say about yourself? (I) […]

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  6. […] A propos de coaching – arta de a pune întrebări – un alt lucru pe care îmi place să cred că l-am învăţat din interacţiunea cu Andy, deşi nu ştiu dacă a fost chiar modelare (cel puţin, nu conştient). Eu pe la traininguri, workshopuri, formări, conferinţe, mă fac repede cunoscut prin „acela care pune întrebări”. Ţin minte că la un moment dat, un profesor la master mi-a spus, când ceasul se apropia de 9 seara: „Sper că îţi dai seama că toată lumea o să te urască pentru că va trebui să stăm mai mult ca să-ţi răspund la întrebare”. Întrebările fiecăruia vorbesc mult despre cel ce le pune. […]

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  7. […] What Do Your Questions Say About Yourself? […]

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