The Better Me

Like every year, I have an evaluation I make on accomplishments and areas to improve. After discussing with a few people conclusions, I have come to a few conclusions I would like to share with you. Although there may be my conclusions, some of these might also support you as well. So today, I wrote a post sharing the findings I arrived at.

1. If you compare yourself with someone else, there will always be a loser. It’s lame to feel like a winner by comparing yourself to others; that will only satisfy your ego. But if you compare yourself to yourself, considering what’s better than last year, you’ll always win without having someone to make you lose just to feel better.

2. Evaluate what other objective enough people have said to you about your performance. Someone asked me if I feel more organized this year. I have answered that it’s irrelevant how organized I feel; I can only judge if I genuinely am more ranked by the results and the feedback. There are a lot of people who like to think they got better. Self-delusion doesn’t help. I looked at some personal development exercises I was doing in 2005. How I was formulating problems and resources was terrible. I had so little experience in self-monitoring and coaching… I know that now because I know how NOT to develop a goal.

3. A lot of people get scared of failure. At the same time, analyzing weak points from 2003 to 2009, I noticed that in 1-2 years, those weak points turned into solid points or led to accomplishments. Therefore, I look at the “disasters” from 2009 as points of future success in 2010-2011. I’m not afraid to declare my failures because, anyway,, people will figure those out; it doesn’t matter how hard I try to hide them. The losses are part of your experience. If those obstacles weren’t there, you wouldn’t be where you are now. As I was writing here using the examples of CODECS and Emi Gal’s success at Seed Camp,

4. Not anyone can be happy with my personality. That’s life. I read an article these days “if you want to be likable…“. I don’t want to be likable. I want to be memorable and remembered as who I want to communicate with and express myself. Setting a goal to be liked is like having your picture taken of you smiling without knowing where your picture will be hung. Even more, every week, and I mean EVERY week, someone is saying “hi” on the street or at an event, or even approaching me on the internet, saying they know me and I don’t have the slightest idea where I know them from. One day, it happened three times in one morning, in different places.

So, the main point: what you prevent from expressing ends up controlling you. Communicate who you are to who you care about, then the people who will be interested will come to you. Last week, somebody recognized my voice in a library. That’s what memorable means.

5. Know yourself. The sooner you get to know yourself, the better the quality of your life will be. For example, this year, I made some radical decisions concerning organizing my life: moving from one rented apartment to another made me realize I had a lot of stuff I didn’t need. I realized I was paying a lot to keep many things I didn’t use. I realized it was crazy to pay rent to have space for something that would be cheaper to buy when I needed it. I’ll write more about this tomorrow.

6. Personal things matter. While writing this post, I was talking with someone over YM, and she told me: well, that’s all fine, but personal? I’d like to state that I do not believe in having professional success without an equilibrated personal life. I am thrilled to take joy in what I have. I have visited each of my parents this year, been to my sister’s wedding, spent some quality time with my friends, and even made some new friends. Over 40 people personally wished me greetings this Christmas. It may not be much, but I’m happy with that. By the way, If you read this and I haven’t thanked you, I’m sorry – I didn’t have time to answer everybody.

I wouldn’t take having success without having the magic moments I keep to myself. And there are some genuinely great moments I treasure.

7. I took a vacation this year. The conference and the HR fair I visited in Barcelona in the spring allowed me to do some sightseeing; I’ve been on holiday in the Alps (France + Italy) and Budapest. It’s great to allow myself to have these kinds of moments.

8. I spent a lot of time learning. I would like to especially mention, besides the HR master programs, the entrepreneurship programs (VIP’s Good to Go, AIESEC Finance School, and even the participation in NetCamp was a helpful experience), Daniel Bichiş’s conferences, and the mentorship certification from CENTRAS Constanţa, held by Roxana Diaconu. Also, practicing coaching at The Romanian Coaching Guild and Noble Manhattan Coaching was a big help. I also listened to a lot of transactional analysis and NLP audio training. Allotting a significant part of the time to learn doesn’t only bring new information but helps the good habits stay in place.

9. The evaluations I have done, using some personality inventories from Test Central, showed me some aspects I was already familiar with, and I accurately measured where I stand. Therefore I know what to improve. But more about my accomplishments and failures in 2009 and my plans to make improvements in other posts.

10. It would have been “perfect” to have a tenth point, right? One final key: don’t try to be perfect. Be natural. Be(tter) you.

Successful self-analysis! Please send me feedback if you liked the post and send it further.

Marcus Victor Grant

Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant 2009-present, all rights reserved.

The materials on this blog are subject to this disclaimer.

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