The Better Me

Like every year, I have an evaluation I make on accomplishments and areas to improve. After discussing with a few people conclusions I have come to a few conclusions I would like to share with you. Although there may be my conclusions, some of these might also help you too. Today I write a post sharing the conclusions I arrived at.

1. If you compare yourself with someone else, there will always be a loser. It’s lame to feel like a winner by comparing yourself to others, that will only satisfy your ego. But if you compare yourself to yourself, considering what’s better than last year, then you’ll always win without having someone to make lose just to feel better.

2. Make the evaluation considering what other objective enough people have said to you about your performance. Someone asked me if I feel more organized this year. I have answered that it’s irrelevant how organized I feel, I can only judge if I truly am more organized by the results and the feedback. There are a lot of people who like to think they got better. Self-delusion doesn’t help. I took a look at some personal development exercises I was making in 2005. How I was formulating problems and resources was terrible. I had so little experience in self-monitoring and coaching… I know that now because I know how NOT to formulate a goal.

3. A lot of people get scared of having failures. At the same time, making an analysis of weak points from 2003 to 2009, I noticed that in 1-2 years, those weak points turned into strong points or lead to accomplishments. Therefore, I look at the “disasters” from 2009 as points of future success in 2010-2011. I’m not afraid to declare what my failures were because anyway people will figure those out, it doesn’t matter how hard I am trying to hide them. The failures are part of your experience. If there weren’t those obstacles there, you wouldn’t be where you are now. As I was writing here using the examples of CODECS and Emi Gal’s success at Seed Camp,

4. Not anyone can be happy with my personality. That’s life. I read an article these days “if you want to be likable…“. I don’t want to be likable. I want to be memorable, remembered as who I want to communicate, to express myself. To set a goal to be liked is like having your picture taken of you smiling without knowing where your picture is going to be hanged. Even more, every week, and I mean EVERY week, someone is saying “hi” on the street or at an event, or even approaching me on the internet, saying they know me and I don’t have the slightest idea where I know them from. One day, it happened three times in one morning, in different places.

So, the main point: what you prevent from expressing, ends up controlling you. Communicate who you are to who you care about, then the people who will be interested will come to you. Last week, somebody recognized my voice in a library. That’s what memorable means.

5. Know yourself. The sooner you get to know yourself, the better the quality of your life will be. For example, this year I took some radical decisions concerning organizing my life: moving from one rented apartment to another made me realize I had a lot of stuff I didn’t need. I realized I was paying a lot of money just to keep a lot of stuff I didn’t use. I realized it was crazy to pay rent to have space for things that would be cheaper to buy when I actually needed it. I’ll write more about this tomorrow.

6. Personal things matter. While writing this post, I was having a conversation with someone over YM and she told me: well, that’s all fine, but personal? I’d like to state that I do not believe in having professional success without an equilibrated personal life. I am very happy to take joy in what I have. I have visited each of my parents this year, I have been to my sister’s wedding, I have spent some quality time with my friends and I have even made some new friends. Over 40 people personally wished me greetings this Christmas. It may not be much, but I’m happy with that. By the way, If you read this and I haven’t thanked you, I’m sorry – I didn’t have time to answer everybody.

I wouldn’t take having success without having the magic moments I keep to myself. And there are some truly great moments I treasure.

7. I took a vacation this year. Not to mention the conference and the HR fair I’ve visited in Barcelona in the spring, which allowed me to do some sightseeing, I’ve actually been on vacation in the Alps (France + Italy) and in Budapest. It’s great to allow myself to have these kinds of moments.

8. I spent a lot of time learning. I would like to especially mention, besides the HR master programs, the entrepreneurship programs (VIP’s Good to Go, AIESEC Finance School, and even the participation to NetCamp was a useful experience), Daniel Bichiş’s conferences, and the mentorship certification from CENTRAS Constanţa, held by Roxana Diaconu. Also, practicing coaching at The Romanian Coaching Guild and at Noble Manhattan Coaching was a big help. I also listened to a lot of transactional analysis and NLP audio training. I think allotting a significant part of the time to learn doesn’t only bring new information, but helps the good habits stay in place.

9. The evaluations I have done, using some personality inventories from Test Central, showed me some aspects I was already familiar with, and I have an accurate measurement of where I stand, therefore I know what to improve. But more, about my accomplishments and failures in 2009, and also, about my plans to make improvements, in further posts.

10. It would have been “perfect” to have a tenth point, right? One final key: don’t try to be perfect. Be natural. Be(tter) you.

Successful self-analysis! Please send me feedback if you’ve liked the post and send it further.

Marcus Victor Grant

Copyright © Marcus Victor Grant, 2009-present

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